Sivame ukunxusa ukuthanda ngokwabo. Kepha lolu thando lunquma kanjani? Kungenzeka yini ukuzithanda futhi ungabi yi-egoist? Izici ezincanyana kakhulu phakathi kokuzethemba okujwayelekile kanye nokuzizwa ngokweqile zivame ukudukisa. Ungazithanda Kanjani futhi ungahle uhlele kabusha, "le ndatshana izotshela.
Kusho ukuthini - Zithande?
Uthando ngokwalo lunezisekelo ezijulile. Wonke umuntu osemiphefumulweni uyakuqonda ukuthi uhlukile, ukuphela komuntu emhlabeni, akekho omunye, kwakungekho muntu. Futhi empeleni kunjalo.
I-Psychology ihumusha lo muzwa njengokugcwaliseka kwakhe "Mina", lapho umuntu angazithatha ngaphandle kokubhuka nemihlangano ngayo yonke inzuzo nokubi kwawo. Wayiqonda kahle indawo yakhe emhlabeni.
Indoda eyayithanda inezibonakaliso eziningi ezihlukile, noma ngabe zizokusiza uthole, Uthanda kangakanani kulesi sigaba.
- Imingcele yomuntu siqu . Ukuthanda uyazi imingcele yakhe, uyazi ukuthi ungabavikela kanjani uma othile ezama ku-Atheel noma akhohlise. Ngisho nabantu abaseduze, umuntu onjalo akavumeli isikhala somuntu siqu ukuba sithole. Ngenhlonipho enkulu, ungowomngcele womunye umuntu, ezama ukungayenzi ekwenziweni ngaphansi kwanoma yiziphi izimo.
- Ukuqonda izifiso zakho. Umuntu onothando wazi kahle ukuthi ufunani, yini izifiso zakhe, izinhloso. Akanamahloni okukhuluma ngezifiso zakhe, futhi uma okuthile kubuza okuthile, ungaqiniseka ukuthi uyakudinga ngempela. Akesabi ukwehluleka, ukuhleka usulu, uzobona ngomoya ophansi.
- Ukunakekelwa komuntu siqu. Uma umuntu enothando olwenele, khona-ke uyathuthumela emzimbeni wakhe, ezempilo. Uzama ukuhlala uzinakekela njalo, abukeke kahle, ngokujwayelekile adle kahle. Akahlehlisi ukuvakashela udokotela, uma kunezizathu zama-alamu. Uthando lungavamile ukuhlala ekudleni okuqeda isikhathi eside, ngeke kuhlole imishanguzo.
- Ngithembe kimi . Uma umuntu ezithanda, wethembela umuzwa wakhe, isipiliyoni sakhe nolwazi. Lokhu akusho ukuthi imikhandlu evela ohlangothini ayizwa futhi ayiboni. Uzobalalela, ngiyabonga, kepha ngaso sonke isikhathi bazohlala beshiya ilungelo lokukhetha enye inguqulo yokuthuthukiswa kwemicimbi. Akuxhomekeki onogazwini ongaphandle, akunabo ngenxa yokuthi ama-sneaker angaphandle angasho ngaye.
- Ukuntuleka kwediphozidi yokuzinikela. Akakwethuli ukuthola ukuhlolwa okuhle ngaphandle, akwenzi izenzo ezinkulu kuphela ukuze amdumise, azithande. Uyayazi nentengo futhi akadingi ukuqinisekisa kusuka eduzane.
- Injabulo Nenjabulo Empilweni. Yebo, uyazi ukuthi ungakuthola kanjani, futhi ngezindlela eziningi kungenzeka ukuthi unenhliziyo emsulwa ngaphandle kokuzisolela unembeza ungazijabulisa, wathola injabulo empilweni. Uyazi ukuthi injabulo ingumthombo wamandla abalulekile, futhi nguyena osiza labo abazithandayo ngenxa yokuthola ukuphakama, ukuthuthukisa, hlakanipha.
- Izinsizakusebenza Zasekhaya . Lapho umuntu ezithanda yena, uyazikhathalela ukugcina izinsizakusebenza zakhe zangaphakathi, azinalutho. Ngokusobala uhlukanisa isikhathi sokusebenza, isikhathi sokuzijabulisa, umndeni, abangane, ngokwakho. Ngeke sisebenzise izinsiza zangaphakathi ngokungalingani, ngakho-ke phakathi kwabantu be-Wordaholics ne-frank bavila abantu kanye nama-idlers abukho abantu abazithanda ngokweqiniso.
- Amandla okwenza ukukhetha. Ngezinga elifanelekile lothando nenhlonipho ngobuntu babo, umuntu akusinzima ukwenza isinqumo ezimweni ezinzima. Ungaqiniseka - uzokhetha kuphela okuhle kakhulu. Ngeke aneliswe "oluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka ezandleni zakhe", uzozama noma yiziphi izindleko ukuthola "crane esibhakabhakeni."
- Oda ngaphandle nangaphakathi . Ngomqondo ojwayelekile weZwi, lokhu kuhleleka endlini, emsebenzini. Emhlabeni jikelele - oda eshaweni. Umuntu uhlala efuna ukudala isimo sakhe lapho induduzo yangaphakathi nokuzola kuhlangabezana nakho. Le yindlela nokukhethwa kwemvelo. Ngeke kube mnandi, ungakhululeki kubantu babantu, ngeke abakhuthazelele futhi babekezelele ubukhona bawo empilweni yakhe. Ukuthanda abantu kusekela izinga eliphakeme lendalo yemvelo yangaphakathi yomphefumlo - abavumeli muntu ezindaweni ezikuzungezile ongakuvuselela ubuthi bokubuka komhlaba, wonakalisa imizwa, ukubangela ukulimala kokuziphatha.
- Isimo sengqondo ngesikhathi. Uthando lubonakaliswa ngesimo sengqondo ngokucophelela ngalesi sikhathi sakhe. Lokhu kukhathaza hhayi isikhathi kuphela, kodwa nokuzilibazisa. Esikhundleni sezinkundla zokuxhumana nabantu, uzosebenzisa ihora lakhe lamahhala ukuze afunde, ukuzithuthukisa, ukuzivocavoca ngobuhle nempilo. Ubeka izinhloso futhi ubathuse ngesikhathi, uyazi ukuthi kufanele bazithethelise kanjani izinhloso zawo futhi bathole izindlela zokusebenzisa. Akavumeli izenzo ezingcolile.
- Sesha onecala. Uma kwenziwa iphutha, khona-ke uthando ngeke lubheke izimpande zakhe nezimbangela zabanye, lubasole, zama ukucacisa iphutha ngezezimali ezenzeka ngengozi. Amaphutha Amenyelwa ku-akhawunti yakhe, kepha hhayi ukubamangalela, kodwa ukuze athole okuhlangenwe nakho okubalulekile kubo.
- Izinzuzo Zomuntu . Ngothando ngokwayo, kulula ukugcizelela ubuhle bakhe, uziveze. Lokhu kuzwakala ngokushesha, futhi ngenxa yalokho abafakizicelo bazimisele ngokwengeziwe ukusebenza okuningi, abasebenzi abanjalo bayakhethwa ekutholeni abantu abazongenela ukhetho lwemiyalo ethakazelisa kakhulu futhi enomthwalo wemfanelo.
- Ukwethembeka. Ukuthanda ukwethembeka. Futhi hhayi kuphela okuzungezile, kodwa futhi ngokwabo. Akazithangameli ukukhohliswa, azame ukudala izimo yena uqobo angaba ngendima yokukhohliswa.
Kusuka e-Egoist, ehlukaniswe ngothando ngokuvuthwa ngokwengqondo, ukuzethemba, isimo sempilo esinempilo empilweni. Lo ngumuntu owenzeke, futhi akanandaba ukuthi uneminyaka emingaki. Kukhona abasebasha abanothando, futhi abanabantu abadala abangazithandi.
Kungani udinga?
Uthando lusiza ukukhulisa ukuzithemba, thatha zonke izici zakho nezimfanelo ngqo ezikhona empeleni. Lokhu akulethi kuphela ukwaneliseka kwengqondo nenduduzo, kodwa ngokuvamile, kukuvumela ukuba ube ngumuntu ozethembayo, ojabulayo. Uthando lwami, umuntu uvula amathuba amasha - angasusa izakhiwo, azizwe ukuzethemba kwangaphakathi, ashintshe impilo yakho, funda ukuzihlonipha wena nabanye.
Ukusizakala kothando olunjalo kunzima kakhulu ukukucabanga ngeqiniso. Kulula ukuzama ukubona imiphumela yokungabikho noma ukuntuleka kokuzikhulula. Ukuntuleka kwenhlonipho yangaphakathi, umuntu unxephezela ngokuncika okungenampilo. Ngokuzithandela, kumele kube notshwala noma umlutha wezidakamizwa. Imvamisa ubudlelwano buvame ukubonwa. Ukungakwazi ukuqongelela uthando ngaphakathi kuholela esifisweni sokukuthola ngaphandle, futhi njalo. Umuntu uthola umlingani futhi uyasabisa, kuya kuye kukho konke.
Umuzwa wenani lomuntu uthola ukusebenzisana nabanye kuphela, yena ngokwakhe akazizwa. Kepha lokhu kuholela embuthanweni ovaliwe, ngoba ngenkathi ngempela singazithandi, akekho ongasithanda ngomqondo ophelele weZwi.
Uzoqala kuphi?
Qala ngokuxoxa ngokweqiniso - Yiziphi izinzuzo zakho, yiziphi izinto ezinzima, ozithandayo nenhlonipho, futhi kulokho - okuvame ukushelela nokugqekeza. Ungenza "ikhadi lokuxilonga" - hlukanisa ishidi lephepha libe ngama-halves amabili futhi kwelinye lichaza izinzuzo zakho ngokungangabazeki, nakwelinye - zibubi. Kuzoba isiqalo sokusebenza nawe. Njengoba ubhekane nalokhu, bhala izimpendulo zakho kulemibuzo elandelayo.
- Ingabe umbono walabo abaseduze?
- Ingabe ngizizwa ngikhululekile emphakathini wabantu abangabazi?
- Ngabe nginqikaze ukubukeka kwami?
- Ngabe nginomsebenzi ofanele?
- Ingabe kukhululekile kimi manje ebudlelwaneni obukhona? Ingabe kukhona ukwesaba ukulahlekelwa umlingani?
Uma izimpendulo eziningi ziqiniseka, udinga ukunakekela ngokushesha - ukulungisa ukuzijabulisa kwakho kwangaphakathi.
Lahla umthwalo wecala nemizwa yecala
Le yinto yokuqala okufanele uyenze. Muva nje kwabanye futhi uzobuyisa emuva, phazamisa ukubuyekezwa kwamanani amaningi, kufaka phakathi nokuhlobana. Ukubhekana nezinhlamba kuzosiza ukwamukela umthwalo wemfanelo. Misa ukusola abanye ekwephule kwakho, nguwe kuphela obhekene nakho konke okwenzeka kuwe. Uma kwenzeka kungathandeki, khona-ke izimfuneko zalokhu futhi zikwenze futhi ngokwakho, uma ungeyena abantu abahle kakhulu nabahloniphekile abaletha ukuhlupheka, awuzange ubavumele ukuba yini empilweni yakho? Zinjengalezi. Futhi kukhona izehlakalo ezinjalo. Futhi ilungelo lakho kuphela ukuwathatha njengesifundo noma njengenhlekelele. Ukuqonda lokhu kuzosiza ukuthethelela abanye, baqonde ukuthi benzani futhi benza kuphela ukuthi thina ngokwethu sabavumela.
Okulandelayo udinga ukuzithethelela. Thanda amaphutha akho ezenziwe, athande izinto ezimbi namagama owabenzile noma athi. Qondisisa ukuthi esikhathini esidlule wenza njalo, futhi hhayi ngenye nje kuphela ngoba okunye ukukhetha kwakungenasipiliyoni esifanele, ulwazi. Kepha la maphutha kungenzeka akwenze namuhla, impela oyikho. Bona uhlu oluhlanganiswe ngaphambili lwamaphutha akho. Ngephuzu ngalinye, sebenza ngokunembile esimweni esinjalo, uzithethelela, lapho izinzuzo ezingokoqobo zokuntuleka kokuntuleka kwendlela, isenzo esibi. Kusukela manje kuqhubeke, ngeke uyeke ukusebenza ngokwakho, kepha uzokuvimba ukushaya kwakho futhi usole abanye, ake siqhubeke nenhliziyo elula.
Zithathe njengoba kunjalo
Ukuze uqale ukuzithanda, izizathu azidingeki. Ngamunye wethu usevele wazelanezela, ngakho-ke akudingekile ukuzama ukubheka izizathu ezikhethekile ezizovumela ukuzithemba nokuzibonakalisa. Kungakho kuzolunga ukwakha "ngiyazithanda ngoba ...". Amagama afanele kuphela - "Ngiyazithanda!". Futhi ayidlali izindima, yini ifomu lakho lekhala, izindlebe, ubude bemilenze, umbala kanye nezinwele ezilulekile.
Kufanele uyeke ukuziqhathanisa nabanye. Konke okukuqonda kwakho kufanele kulingane. Ukubeka umuntu esisekelweni, enciphisa izinzuzo zawo - indlela eholela ekuhlaziyeni kuphela kokuzihlola nokucindezelwa okungamahlalakhona. Uyazi ngeqhaza lezinhlelo zenhlalo - umthelela wokukhangisa, izinkolelo zenhlalo, i-psychology yesixuku - konke lokhu kuhloswe ukuthi kubhujiswe ukuzihlola, kusukela kubantu abavuthiwe ngokwengqondo kunzima ukuhlanganisa inqwaba yezenhlalo. Umsebenzi wakho ukuphuma ethonyeni elinjalo.
Ngakho-ke, yeka ukuziqhathanisa nabanye, ungafuni izithombe ezifanayo ozibona ekukhangiseni, ungakunaki lokho abakushoyo noma acabange ngawe. Uma udinga ukuziqhathanisa, ngakho-ke unawe. Izolo ubunjalo, futhi namuhla sebeye baba ngcono, basebenze kahle, banomusa, bahlakaniphile, bathakazelisa ngokwengeziwe - akusona isizathu sokujabula?
Chaza izinhloso zakho kanye nezifiso zakho
Yekani ukugxila ekutheni balindelwe kuwe. Bheka okufunayo. Yenza uhlu lwezifiso zakho, chaza izinhloso. Kulitshe ngalinye, kuyadingeka ukuchaza isikhathi, ukuqoqa imali namathuluzi azosiza ukufeza okufunayo. Ngemuva kwalokho, ungaqhubekela ekusetshenzisweni. Imvamisa, ngokusekelwe ezinhlelweni zezenhlalo zamanga, ukuthi owesimame kufanele ahlabezelwe ngokuqondene nomndeni, indoda ithembekile futhi inomthwalo wemfanelo, siwela ekuthunjwe kwangempela, kodwa ngaphandle kokuzenzela abanye. Thola imingcele yakho yangasese ngokuya ngezifiso zakho.
Ungavumeli abanye ukuba babethembe, bangahloniphi izinkolelo zakho, izinto zokuzilibazisa, izinto zokuzilibazisa, isikhathi somuntu siqu. Ngokubuya, ukuhlonipha imingcele yabanye.
Ungalahli, ungakhuphuki amathiphu lapho ungabuzwa khona. Musa "ukuncipha entanyeni yakho" labo abangahleleli impilo yami yonke kuyo ukuze bathwale.
Yenza ukuzimela
Akunandaba noma ngabe unama-diplomas amangaki mayelana nokuphela kwamanyuvesi, yini oyithathayo, ucabanga ukuthi uwuqeda kanjani futhi uhlakaniphe. Indawo entsha kufanele ibe njalo. Namuhla, zonke izimo zenzelwe lokhu - izingqungquthela ezikude, ama-webinars aphethwe, noma yiziphi izincwadi, izifundo, izikole, ukuze ukwazi ukukhulisa izinga lolwazi lwakho hhayi kwi-Professional Sphere kuphela, kepha jikelele. Yisebenzise, zama ukufunda okuthile okusha nsuku zonke, okwakungazi ngaphambili.
Kepha ukuzithuthukisa akufanele kukhawulelwe ngolwazi olusha nolusebenzayo. Ungasebenzi kuphela ngaphezulu kwezobunhloli, ulwazimagama, umbono, kodwa futhi ngaphezulu kwesimo sakho sengqondo, uzindle noma uhambe ngezinyawo, uhambe, uqeqeshe ukuxhumana nabantu. Umkhawulo wokuphelela awukho.
Amaphutha okungenzeka
Kaningi, wonke umuntu lapho esebenza ekwenzeni ngcono ukuzethemba kwabo, abantu bayavuma amaphutha aholela ekubonakaleni okuhlaselwe "Mina". E-Psychotherapy, lokhu kuqanjwa ngokuthi i-narcissism. Umugqa phakathi kothando olunempilo ngaye nokuzithemba okugcwele mncane, kulula ukuyiphula. Iqiniso lokuthi kwenzeka lingahlulelwa yizimpawu eziningi.
- Umuntu uhlala ethinteka njalo ngokuzethemba kwakhe , njalo wagxila kuye futhi akakwazi ukuzwelana ngokomoya - uzwela.
- Indoda ibona ngobuhlungu noma ukugxeka ekhelini lakhe , iba lungacasuli, athukuthele.
- Endaweni yokuqala, ubeka imibuzo esimweni sawo senhlalo kanye nesimo sabanye abantu. Imvamisa ikhetha imvelo ngokufanele ukutholakala.
- Ukuhlaselwa ekuzithembeni okuzungeze ukuphawula okuzungezile ekukhohlisweni okungafanele kwentando nezisombululo zabanye abantu. Ezimweni ezinzima, lokhu kuba yindlela yokondla ukuzethemba kwakhe.
Iphutha lesibili elivamile amandla okungabaza. Kubukeka sengathi yonke into icacile, futhi umuntu wenza njalo ngokufanele, kepha ukungabaza okukhungethekisayo kuvame ukumenza ahlale abheke futhi abhekane - noma enza konke njengoba kufanele. Ngenxa yalokho, umuntu akakwazi ukufeza lolu thando. Ukuvimbela amaphutha anjalo, kubalulekile ukulandela isilinganiso esicacile kukho konke, landela izincomo zochwepheshe.
Uma ngokwakhe, akunakwenzeka ukuthi ukhulise kakhulu ukuzithemba kanye nezinga lokutholwa kwakho, kufanelekile ukufuna usizo kudokotela wezengqondo noma ngokobuzwe.
Amasu asebenzayo kanye nokuzivocavoca nsuku zonke
Izindatshana zethiyori kanye nezinkambiso zesayensi zokubaluleka kothando ngokwazo ziningi, futhi ngemuva kokufunda kwazo kusobala, kungani konke lokhu. Kepha umbuzo wokuthi ungaqhamuka kanjani ngempumelelo ekuqwashiseni nasekuzithathe, funda ukuzithatha kanye nabanye, uphakamise inani labo elingaphakathi emehlweni abo, izimpendulo ezithile azikakhulu. Ngakho-ke, ake sizame ukwenza ngokucacile izivivinyo ezimbalwa ezisebenzayo nsuku zonke.
- Bhala uhlu "amakhulu". Ngaphakathi kohlaka lwalo msebenzi, kunconywa ukuguqula ukugxila kwakho kwangaphakathi nge-negative. Ngamanye amagama, siqala ukubona okuhle kuwe. Ephepheni lephepha, kufanele udwebe uhlu lokusuka ezintweni eziyikhulu, lapho zonke izinzuzo zakho kanye nezimpumelelo zizofakwa kuhlu. Uma ziningi - kahle, uma kuncane, kufanele ucabange okuningi. Bhala ngokushesha lonke ikhulu elinzima kakhulu. Izazi zezengqondo ziqaphele ukuthi izinga eliphakeme lokungazithandile zona, liba nzima ngokwengeziwe ngamaphuzu ayishumi nambili. Ngakho-ke, sithatha umthetho ukugcwalisa usuku kusuka kumaphoyinti angu-1 kuye kwangama-3. Ungakwazi nokuningi. Funda kabusha uhlu okungenani kanye ngosuku. Lokhu kuzosiza ukuqonda ngokucacile ukuthi kungakanani okuhle, okuhle, okuhle kuwe.
- "Iphutha". Lo msebenzi wanikezwa izazi zezengqondo ezifuywayo. Umnyombo wayo ukunqoba ukusabela okunzima ukuze uphuthelwe futhi ukwehluleka kwawo. Ngayinye, ngisho nephutha elincane, kufanele lihlelwe ezinhlangothini, litsheke kancane ikhanda futhi ngesitayela sengane emangele kumnandi ukusho ngokuzwakalayo: "Iphutha!". Futhi ngemuva kwemizuzwana embalwa, qabula amahlombe akho ngezandla nokudumisa nganoma yimaphi amagama amnandi ngawe. Lapho nje uzizwa ududuza futhi uzolile, zinikeze ukufakwa komsebenzi owengeziwe okuhloswe ngalo ukulungisa "iphutha" lakho.
- Ukugxekwa kwangaphakathi. Ngaphakathi kuphila ngakunye izwi labantu akhulile angajabuli - umzali, ukufundisa, ukuqondisa. Ungabaza izinqumo zethu, ugxeka izenzo zethu. Awuzwanga? Zama ukungayi emsebenzini, futhi usuku lonke 'uzosisika' ngaphakathi. Vumela ikhekhe elengeziwe, futhi umgxeki wakho uzoqala "ukuqhuma" futhi. Noma nini lapho uzizwa uvuka ngaphakathi, ngesibindi futhi usitshela ngokuqinile ngathi "Misa!". Amanye ama-psychotherapists ancoma ukubonwa, lapho ingxenye yomzimba izwakala khona izwi. Kaningi kuyinhloko. Lapho umgxeki eqala i-monologue yakhe, edinga ukwehla ngengqondo "ekhanda ehlombe, edolweni, njll. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, izwi lakhe lizothula, ithoni lithambile, i-tonial ilula kuze kube yilapho kugxekwa kwangaphakathi kuthula. Lo msebenzi unikela ekugxiliseni kwangaphakathi.
- Uhlelo lwempumelelo . Ekuseni ngemuva kokuvuka, nakanjani faka ukufakwa kosuku oluphumelelayo. Isimo semizwa akufanele sisuselwe "Ngizozama" noma "Ngiyethemba," futhi kuphela "ngiyakwazi!", "Ngizobhekana nakho!" Zama ukulungisa lesi sinqumo, sigcine usuku lonke.
- Uthando olungenamibandela . Lo msebenzi uzokusiza ukuthi ungabheki siso singesizathu sothando. Cabanga nje ukuthi igumbi lakho lihleli umuntu othanda nakanjani uzohlala. Uthanda zonke izici zakho, ukubukeka, umlingiswa, umsebenzi wakho, i-Worldview. Cabanga nje ukuthi kubukeka kanjani, yini egqoke phansi nobudala. Cabanga ukuthi kukufanele futhi kukuqabule kanjani. Ngemuva kwalokho, phukula ngokushesha ipensela bese ubhala incwadi evela egameni lakhe nezifiso zosuku lwamanje.
Khokha ukusetshenziswa okunjalo kwesigamu sehora kuphela ngosuku, futhi umphumela ngeke uzenze ulinde isikhathi eside.
Amathiphu wezazi zezengqondo
Ukuze uphile ngokuvumelana nawe futhi umhlaba wangaphandle awulula kangako, kepha akunzima kangako, njengoba kubonakala.
- Veza imizwa yakho, zizwe ukhululekile ukukhuluma ngothando, ubungani, ukungathandi.
- Zungeze nethemba, ukuxhumana nabo kuzosekela umsebenzi wakho wangaphakathi kuwe.
- Hlangana nomsebenzi omude futhi onzima - inqubo kungenzeka ingabe izelwe.
- Shayela idayari yempumelelo lapho ubona khona imiphumela emihle nsuku zonke.
