Amanye amadoda akholelwa ukuthi ukuvukela kwabesilisa kuyahluka kakhulu kwabesifazane. Kusolwa ukuthi kungokweqile, futhi akufanele iphathwe ngokungathi sína.
Ngokubona kwabo, kufanele kubonwe ngumkakhe njengohlobo lobumbano olukhanyayo, okubonisa amadoda ngenxa yokucabanga kwabo okuyingqayizivele.
Ingabe wonke amadoda ayakwazi ukuvukela umbuso?
Wonke umuntu wesifazane uzowuphendula lo mbuzo, edweba ngempilo yakhe. Abanye bazothi kunamadoda angenakushintsha, futhi laba bangabayeni babo. Abanye, kunalokho, bazophendula bathi bonke abamele ubulili obuqinile bayakwazi ukukhaphela ingxenye yabo yesibili, uma izimo ezithile zibuhlungu.
Futhi lezo nabanye futhi zilungile emibonweni yabo, ngoba ngamunye wethu ungumuntu ngamunye emvelweni nasekubukeni empilweni. Kusho ukuthini ukuthi isimo sokuvukela umbuso kombuso wethu?
Lo mbuzo awukwazi ukuphendulwa ngolunye uhlangothi. Ngezindlela eziningi, isimo sengqondo sendoda kumkayo singaphansi kokuziphatha kowesifazane uqobo. Imvamisa kunezimo ezinjalo lapho indoda efanayo iziphatha ngendlela ehlukile nabesifazane abahlukahlukene ngokwemvelo.
Konke lokhu kwenzeka, ngoba omunye wabo uyivumela ukuba ishintshe noma iziphathe ukuze umyeni aphoqeleke ukuba abheke uhlangothi. Okunye okubambe okhethiwe kwakhe ku- "Usizo Mittens" noma ukuze anganaso isifiso sokubheka kwesokunxele.
Noma imaphi ama-lealees angasetshenziswa uma wenza umsebenzi unomphela wokuvimbela umbuso. Njengomuntu ohloniphekile futhi othembekile angaqhubeka nokuvukela umbuso uma ingxenye yakhe yesibili enganendaba nokulondolozwa kobudlelwano.
Kumele kukhunjulwe ukuthi umshado usebenza kanzima kakhulu. Lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi kwabesifazane. Shono nje bathi abamele amaFrance bangabagcini bokuzwa.
Kepha kuyo yonke imithetho kuzoba njalo okungenani into eyodwa, kodwa okuhlukile. Kunezimo ezinjalo lapho owesifazane engenamandla ngaphambi kwezimo.
Vele, kunabantu abangakwazi ubudlelwane besikhathi eside. Futhi amacala anjalo ayatholakala.
Esimweni esinjalo, akufanele usole lo wesifazane. Kufanele kuqondwe ukuthi uthole umlingani onesimo sengqondo esingazinzile. Ngokunokwenzeka, isimo esinjalo sabangela ukulimala okuthile kwengqondo, mhlawumbe ngisho nezingane. Kungakho-ke indoda-donuan ingakwazi ukuyeka ekukhetheni umlingani oyedwa unomphela.
Ukuthuka okuphrintiwe kuvusana umuntu ukuba azilethe ngaso sonke isikhathi uqobo, uyakwazi ukuthola umbhangqwana nganoma yisiphi isikhathi futhi nganoma yisiphi isikhathi. Akusoze kwanqatshwa, kuphonswe futhi kuhlazeke, njengoba kunjalo, ngombono wakhe, ukuphelela.
Ngemuva kokuhlangana nomuntu onjalo futhi wabona umnyombo wemvelo yakhe, Ungacasuki futhi uzame ukuthola amaphutha ngokwakho ukuze uzithethelele indlela yokuziphatha.
Kulokhu, indlela engcono kakhulu yokuphuma izonquma ukuqeda ukuxhumana okunjalo kanye. Kumele kukhunjulwe ukuthi empilweni usazohlangana nomuntu ozokwazi ukukunikeza uthando nenhlonipho.
Izibalo zokubonisa ukuma kwendaba
Ochwepheshe ngemuva kokuba izifundo ziphikisane nokuthi amadoda asezimweni eziningi aguquka ukuze anelise locansi. Isimo sabo sengqondo asihlali 'sihilelekile' kwinqubo. Kungakho abaningi baphikisana nokuthi ukuvuma kwabesilisa akusho lutho.
Abesifazane bayashintsha "ngakho konke ukungathí sina" futhi balinde umlingani wabo ngokubuya okufanayo okufudumele kwengqondo. Shono nje bathi owesimame eshintsha umyeni wakhe futhi efulethini elisuswayo, ngokungazi abeke ifenisha futhi azame ukuhlela isidleke somndeni esipholile.
Kepha naphezu kwakho konke, iningi labantu besikhathithu sethu, cishe ama-51%, bangacabangi ukuvuma ngenxa yesehlukaniso. Mhlawumbe lokhu kwenzeka ngoba ama-70% amadoda angaphezu kwama-70 abantu besifazane abangaphezu kuka-26% abashintshe ingxenye yabo yesibili cishe kanye ezimpilweni zabo.
Sinikeza ezinye izibalo.
- Emsebenzini, cishe u-30% ushintsho, le nombolo ifaka abesilisa nabesifazane. Imvamisa, ukuvukela okunjalo yinto yesikhashana.
- Omakhelwane bashintsha ama-14% abo bobabili abesilisa nabesifazane.
- Ukuba seholidini, abesifazane (34%) bashintsha ngaphezu kwabesilisa (20%).
- Ngokwemvelo noma ekotishini, ama-30% aphathwa, futhi emafulethini lapho omunye wabalingani ahlala khona nomndeni wakhe, ama-30% abantu ayashintsha.
Ngakho-ke, kungashiwo ukuthi akubona bonke abakhileyo emhlabeni abakwaziyo abakwazi ukuzivukela umbuso ngokohlelo.
Umndeni oqinile nezingane zivame ukuvimba izifiso eziholela ekuziphatheni okubi.
Psychology kanye nezizathu
Ochwepheshe bezengqondo bathi kunezimfuneko eziningi nezinto ezivusa isimo sendoda ekuvukezweni. Into enjalo ingadala ubunzima obuphakathi nendawo. Ngemuva kweminyaka engamashumi amane, amanye amadoda aqala ukubonakala sengathi impilo yabo yobulili esebenzayo iza ukuqeda.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngalesi sikhathi, izingane emindenini eminingi ziba ngabantu abadala impela. Zibonakala izintshisekelo zabo nokuzilibazisa. Ukunakekelwa kwabazali kudlulela ngemuva. Indoda ayizwanga muntu odinga noma ngubani, futhi imphoqa ukuba azitholele njengomuntu kwamanye amakilasi.
Umuzwa wesidleke osonakele igama lalesi simo. Indoda iyisidina, isetshenziselwa ukusiza usizo nokunakekelwa kwakhe. Inhloko yomndeni iyaqhubeka nokusebenza futhi "ukudonsa intambo", futhi ukubuyiselwa kanye nokwaneliseka kokuziphatha akuzizwa. Uhlala efika eqinisweni lokuthi indodana yakhe ivele yazakhela izinzuzo ezibonakalayo uqobo, futhi indodakazi inakekela ummeli ongumfokazi ngokuphelele wobulili obuqinile.
Ngokumelene nalesi sizinda, umuntu uqala ukubonakala sengathi kuningi empilweni yakhe kuphuthelwe futhi akuhloliwe. Uma ummeleli onjalo wesitezi esinamandla akatholi indlela yokuphuma esimweni samanje, khona-ke kungenzeka ukuthi kuncike emcimbini wezengqondo. I-Psychoshomatics izofaka izifo ezinkulu.
Ngakho-ke, ukuze kuphunyuke ngokwemvelo ekucindezelekeni, ufuna ukubamba futhi afinyelele ama-Heights amaningi. Futhi yini efangele? Vele, izifiso zothando. Impendulo yalezi zikhukhumelu ezinjalo ihlala ikhona. Ngokuqinisekile sizohlangana nowesifazane ozohlukanisa izinto zakhe zokuzilibazisa nesimo somoya ophakanyisiwe. Umhlaba kulokhu uzodlala upende omusha.
Ngakho-ke kwenzeka lapho ngisho noshashayo onothando kakhulu eqala 'ukuya kwesobunxele' kokwethembekile kwakhe. Kuvela ukuthi amadoda aguqula abafazi bawo, kepha ungawushiyi umndeni. Imvamisa, lowo oshade naye ungowazi iqiniso lokuthi umyeni wakhe unenkosikazi.
Izimo, lapho amakhosikazi awo ezosola khona amagugu, atholakala emphakathini wethu. Isizathu sokuthi ukungeneliseki ngokocansi noma isimo sengqondo esibandayo somkakhe. Ukuze wandise ukuzethemba kwakho, indoda ezonakana ngokunganaki izobheka "ohlangothini".
Kukhona inani elincane labamele abasebenza ngocansi, ekuqaleni abakwazi ukudala umndeni oqinile. Izici eziningi zengqondo zithinta le nto. Indawo ethile yokugcina uhlamvu futhi isimo sengqondo sobuhlungu esitholakala emadodeni anjalo ngeke sisize ekulondolozeni ubudlelwano besikhathi eside nabesifazane.
Kumele sivume ukuthi kukhona nabamele abanjalo bobulili obuqinile emhlabeni, okungabangelwa ama-bachelors abethulwe. Uma umuntu ehlala yedwa, akusho ukuthi abunabo ubuhlobo bobabili nabalingani. Imvamisa, ubudlelwane obunjalo abukhangiswa, ngakho-ke musa ukuqeda noma yini.
Ama-Bachelors ahlala njengempisi eyodwa. Ungazami 'ukuqina' okunjalo. Zenzele kuphela.
Umphumela
Izici ezingezinhle ezivela kumyeni kavukela. Lapho umfazi ethola ngokukhashelwa komyeni wakhe, ukuzethemba kwakhe kuwa ngamandla, futhi uwela ekucindezelekeni. Ngokumelene nalokhu, wonke umndeni uyahlupheka futhi okokuqala kwazo zonke izingane. Owesifazane uqala ukuthukuthelela umlingani wakhe ngamaphutha akhe. Futhi lesi simo asipheli kungelutho. Imizwa engemihle ayisizanga omunye umuntu.
Ngenxa yalokho, umelele okonile wensipho enhle ungaqhubeka nokuziphindisela ukuze aziphindisele. Ukubhujiswa komndeni lapha ngeke kungenakugwenywa. Lapho abashade bephila isikhashana, khona-ke ukuvunywa komunye wabo kuzobukeka njengokuthi "ukuduma phakathi kwesibhakabhaka esicacile." Akubona bonke abesifazane abakwaziyo ukuthethelela ukukhaphela komlingani, futhi udinga ukukhumbula.
Ingxenyekazi yesintu yesintu iyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu. Ukusuka ekuphelelwe yithemba, umfazi okhohlisayo anganquma ukuziphindisela. Lokhu akunakuvunyelwa. Abantu abaningi bangahle bahlupheke ngezenzo zakhe zokuqhuma, kubandakanya nezingane zakhe. Uma owesifazane ephula umthetho, khona-ke uzoba nesibopho ngokushesha. Futhi lokhu kuyinhlekelele ezoletha ukulimala okungenakufinyeleleka kuwo wonke umuntu.
Futhi umzuzu owodwa obaluleke kakhulu, ongakwazi ukulahleka ngombono esimweni sokuvukela umbuso ukulahleka kokuzethemba. Umfazi okonile ngeke esakwazi ukwelapha imfudumalo kumlingani wakhe. Uzobonakala ngazo zonke izinyathelo lapho umyeni wakhe amguqula futhi. Futhi kuphela emva kwesikhathi esithile, izinsolo zakhe zizokwaneliswa. Kepha ngenkathi isimo sokuphumula sifika, kuzoba khona amahlazo amaningi nezinkinga emndenini.
Uma kwenzeka ukukhaphela, akufanele kuthengwe ekucasuleni. Kuyadingeka ukuthi uphile. Isikhathi siphathwa, futhi intukuthelo yakho izohamba uma wena uqobo ufuna.
Ukubheka okwengeziwe kwenkinga
Amanye amadoda ngokuvamile awakholelwa ukuthi ukuvukela kwabo kuyinto engaphezu kwemvelo. Kufika eqinisweni lokuthi abanye abameleli bobulili obuqinile bathi: "Ngenzenjani? Nginelungelo eliphelele lokuvukela umbuso. Umkami nomndeni wami abadingi lutho. Angiphuzi, angibhemi. Ngingathola okungenani uhlobo oluthile lwephutha? ".
Kunzima ukucabanga, kepha abaningi babo bayaqiniseka ngokulunga kwabo futhi bangakholelwa ukuthi benza okuthile okungalungile. Ummeleli onjalo wobulili obuqinile awusoze washintsha umbono wakhe. Izohamba ngakwesokunxele nakwesobunxele aze anamandla anele. Yebo, kuyadingeka ukwengeza lokho kusuka emndenini uhlobo lwabantu abanjalo kuyaqabukela.
Lokhu kuziphatha kufana ne-egoist ejwayelekile. Empilweni, ufuna ukuzama konke ngokushesha. Uhlala esimweni esihle. Lowo ngunkosikazi nje nowesifazane uzizwa engakhululekile kakhulu nge-satellite yempilo enjalo. Kuliqiniso, akubona bonke abesilisa abangabathengi babo abathandayo. Phakathi kwamadoda abi bakhona labo abahlangabezana nokuhlupheka kwengqondo okungabekezeleleki ngoba kufanele banqobile futhi bakhohlise.
Uzoqonda ngokuphelele ukuthi yini okungalungile, futhi umshado ungawa kumvuko wakhe. Ukwesaba nokuzisola ngonembeza kukonakalisa umuntu kusuka ngaphakathi. Kepha nalokhu angenzi lutho ngenxa yokuthi umfazi noMthandi bamtholela imigwaqo, futhi ngamunye wabo ngendlela yakhe.
Isimo kuleli cala sivunyelwe ngezindlela ezimbili: umyeni ushiya umndeni waya enkosikazini yakhe noma uhlale. Lapha konke kuzoncika ezimweni ezithuthukayo.
Ungasinda kanjani?
Uma kunesifiso esihle, ungasinda kule nto. Thatha imizwa yakho ukuze uguqule futhi ungene ngendlela enhle. Ngaphandle kwalokhu, ukucushwa akufanele kwenziwe lutho. Lapho-ke kungcono ukuhlukanisa okuthile ukwenza okuthile uhhafu. Ngakho-ke, unqume ukusindisa umndeni nomshado. Ngemuva kwalokho yenza okulandelayo:
- Ungakuhlambalazi umyeni wakho futhi ungakukhumbuzi ngovuko.
- Dala umoya opholile endlini, ulungiselele okuhle okuhlukile bese uhlela ukuphuza itiye elihlanganyelwe;
- Kaningi, dala isimo sothando lapho ungomunye nowoshasha naye;
- Iya ukuvakashela abangane abaseduze futhi ubonise konke okuthuthukile konke;
- Udinga ukuluphakamisa umyeni wakho ukubheka abanye besifazane, ngoba lokhu kuhlale kuseduze;
- Ahlangane ngokuqeqeshwa kwezemidlalo okuhlanganyelwe;
- Ngokuvamile kushiya wonke umndeni emvelweni;
- Xhumana nezihlobo eziseduze, abazali;
- Musa ukudonsela ezingxabanweni zakho zezingane - zisencane futhi zizokhathazeka kakhulu ngokuthi umama nobaba bangahlukanisa.
Yonke imizamo yakho ngeke idlule ngaphandle komkhondo. Kancane kancane, ubuhlungu buyaphela, futhi ngasikhathi sinye kuzovela imizwa yethemba. Wena ngokwakho ngeke uqaphele ukuthi wonke umuntu uzokulungiselela kanjani indlela oyifunayo. Into esemqoka ukungagxili enkingeni futhi ungaweli ekucindezelekeni.
Ungakugwema kanjani?
Kholwa ukuthi kungekho bungozi ozonquma ukuhola umyeni wakho uma benomuzwa wokuthi uphansi ngawe kubo bonke abantu besifazane. Ngeke sichithe isikhathi esethembekileko lapho abanye abantu behambahamba, ababi kakhulu, babukeka kabi kakhulu kunokuba banesizungu futhi abahle.
Khumbula ukuthi amehlo akho kufanele adwetshwe ngaso sonke isikhathi, futhi i-hairstyle isesimweni esihle kakhulu. Ngenkathi usebenzela ukulondolozwa komshado wakho, ukubukeka kwakho kufanele kube nokungenaphutha.
Ungaphiki umyeni wakho ekusondeni okusondelene ngaphandle kwesizathu esikhethekile. Ukwehluleka kwakho kufanele kulungiswe ngokunengqondo. Ngasikhathi sinye, ungathandeki kakhulu, ikakhulukazi uma usuvele useminyakeni ovuthiwe. Ngaphandle kwalokho, umyeni wakho uzoqala ngokufanayo futhi akhathazeke ngokuvumelana namandla akhe owesilisa.
Zama ukugwema ukungaboni ngaso linye nangaphandle kwesizathu. Lwela ukuqondana kanye nokuhloniphana phakathi kwakho. Yiba nethemba noma kungekho mqondo.
Umuntu ngokwakhe angazakhela ezizungeze yena kanye nabathandekayo bakhe umumo omuhle. Konke kuncike kuwe kuphela kuwe, futhi ungacabangi njalo ukuthi umyeni angakushintsha nganoma yisiphi isikhathi. Yilwa nokwesaba kwakho futhi unqobe.
Umbono wesazi mayelana nokuvukela kwesilisa bona ividiyo elandelayo.