Uninzi lwethu lwazi ukuba lonke uloyiko lomntu kunye noxinzelelo lubekwe ebuntwaneni. Uhlobo lomntu ngamnye kuthi luqale ukwenza ngeli xesha. Ke ngoko, sinokuthi sithi ubuntwana bethu buhlala nathi ebomini. Umntu omdala uyazi ukuba ngoku uye wahlukile, uyaziqonda ukuba ngokwahlukileyo. Kwangelo xesha, isidalwa esincinci sihlala ngalo lonke ixesha ngaphakathi kwengqondo yethu. Ukuba ebuntwaneni yayihlala ikhutyekisiwe okanye ayizange inikele ingqalelo efanelweyo, iya kuthi ke ngalo lonke ixesha isikhunjuzwa ngayo.
Ngubani ofuna kwaye ngoba?
Ukucamngca "Ukuphiliswa komntwana wangaphakathi" Louse Hay uye wabavelela abo baziva umntu ongenalowo nongakhuselekanga. Oku kucamngca kuyalelwe ukususa uloyiko kunye nokungazithembi.
Obu buchule kufuneka baqiniseke kuphela kuba uLouise Hoy kumava akhe abonisa indlela yokwenza xa umphefumlo wawusenza inxeba ebuntwaneni.
UMdali wendlela wazalwa kwintsapho engamahlwempu. Ukususela ebuntwaneni, ndafunda ukuba indlala kwaye ibanda. Ukukhula, enye yeentsuku ezintle ukuba uthathe isigqibo sokungenisa iindlela zokunyanga zonyango. Emva koko waba ngumfundisi kwaye waqalisa ukubhala iincwadi kwi-psychology.
Xa uLouise wagula kakhulu, wagqiba kwelokuba anyange ubugwenxa bakhe. Kule nto wancedwa kukucamngca. Ukuza kuthi ga ngoku, wakwazi ukunceda abanye abantu ukuba baphume kwimeko enzima.
Oku kucamngca ngasentla kwenza ukuba kwenzeke ukuntywila ngokuzenzekelayo ebuntwaneni kwaye ngalo mda wokuntywila uzame ukutshintsha okwangoku. Ke ngoko, obu buchule buyafuneka kwabo bafuna ngokunyanisekileyo ukulahla amava abantwana, oko ke, bakuchaphazela kakhulu okwangoku.
Mininzi imizekelo xa iingxaki ezibalekayo ezivela kubudala babantwana azivumeli umntu aziqonde. Umzekelo, ukuba umntwana uphathelwe esikolweni ngobudala besikolo kwaye waziva engenanto, wayengenakufumana i-satellite ebuhala, wayeya kuvalwa, ngekhe akwazi ukubona ubuchule bakhe.
Ukutshintsha yonke into, kuya kufuneka uzame ukuzicamngca ngonyango lwe-louise hay "ukuphiliswa komntwana wangaphakathi."
Nguwuphi "umntwana ongaphakathi"?
Ukuza ngokupheleleyo kwimbono yento enjalo, kufuneka uyiqonde loo nto Ibinzana elithi "umntwana wangaphakathi" lilungu lelinye lamacandelo aphambili ehlabathini lomntu omntu. Le nxalenye iqulethe iinkumbulo ezahlukeneyo, zombini ezimbi nezingalunganga, kunye noloyiko, izakhono, amava okuqala, njl.
Yile nxalenye yomphefumlo womntu onoxanduva lokuqonda loo nto. Ngamnye wethu ukhumbula ukuba incasa ye-ice cream, esikutsileyo sonke ebuntwaneni. Yachukumisa kakhulu kwaye imnandi. Ndiwukhumbule lo mzuzu, kwaye ngoku, ukuba ngabantu abadala ukukholisa, sitya i-ice cream.
Kunokutshiwo okufanayo malunga nobuchule bokuyila.
Emncinci, umntwana ngamnye uzama ukuzoba into okanye oyimfama. Ukuba uyanconywa, uzama nangakumbi kwaye edale. Ngenxa yoko, umculi onetalente okanye umzobo onokukhula ovela kumntu onjalo. Kwaye Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba udlale amava abantwana, ebizwa ngokuba "ngumntwana ongaphakathi".
Xa kwakungekho mntu uthatha ingqalelo kwisigqubuthelo sokuyila somculi omncinci, uqala ukuzivala kancinci ngaphakathi kwakhe, kwaye ubuchule bakhe baphume. Ukuba umntu onjalo, ukuba ngumntu omdala, ufuna ukuvuselela ukunqwenela ukuzoba, oku kuya kunceda ukucamngca ngokuba "ukuphiliswa komntwana wangaphantsi".
Ukujongana: "Umntwana wangaphakathi" lixesha elithile elihlala lingaphambi kwexesha. Nangona kunjalo, ngeli xesha lingabi ukuba liphembelele ukuphembelela ubomi bokwenyani nobuphi na.
Ubuchule
Obu buchule yenzelwe abantu ababadala. Nokuba umdala kangakanani. Kufuneka yenziwe ngolungelelwano lweemvakalelo ezicocekileyo nezintsha emphefumlweni wakho. Kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo baya kudala izimvo ezintsha zengqondo eziya kunceda bahambe ngakumbi.
Kuyimfuneko ukuqwalasela oko "Umntwana wakho wangaphakathi" unokuba kwimeko enjalo-ukuba udandatheke kwaye woyike, njl. Ukuba ubukele kwihambo yakho yokuziphatha engahambelaniyo, ukungakwazi ukucela okunjalo, kuya kufuneka ufunde indlela yokujongana nayo. Ukongeza, iimvakalelo ezimbi kunye neemvakalelo zomlinganiswa wakho nazo zibonisa ukuba "umntwana ongaphakathi" uyacinezelwa.
Ke ngoko, uzinyanga ngokungakhethi, oko kukuthi, ube nomsindo, uya kuba nomsindo, unesityhakala kwaye unesityhakala kuzo zonke izono ezifayo. Kwaye okona kubaluleke kakhulu, sukuyibona impumelelo yakho kunye neempawu ezintle. Oku, ngokwemvelo, bonwabela abantu abangqongileyo, kukwenza "i-scapegoat".
Ezinye iintlobo zokuziphatha ezinokungafaneleki zibonakaliswa ngenxa yokuba, njengokuba kunjalo, njengaba bantu babantu abadala, abanakuyiqonda le nto. Abantu abanjalo bangenelelo, abasebenzi kwaye bangafundi, bazame ukuphila ngokuphelisa abanye. Ke ngoko, kufuneka baqale ukusebenza ngokwabo. Ngaphandle koko, baya kuphatha ukonakaliswa.
Ukwenza oku, kubalulekile ukuba ufumanise ukuba "umntwana wangaphakathi" ubonakaliswa njani. Ukuba ayikho kakuhle kwisicwangciso seemvakalelo, uyakufuneka ungathandeki. Ukuba awonwabanga, kuya kufuneka uchithe impilo entle kwaye ubeke imeko yakho yomphefumlo ukuya kwi-lingalibribum.
Ukucamngca kuya kunceda ukuseka unxibelelwano 'nomntwana "ohleli ngaphakathi kuwe. Obu buchule buza kukutyhalela kwi-bora yemvakalelo. Musa ukumangaliswa kukuba ngexesha lokuziqhelanisa uya kuba namava nosizi, kunye novuyo, kunye nokuziva unetyala, kunye nezinye iimvakalelo.
Musa ukoyika luphawu olunyibilikisayo, kwaye yenzekile. Ukuba ufuna ukulila, emva koko jika. Ukuba ufuna ukuhleka, emva koko skimp. Ukucamngca kwenziwa ukuze uvuselele iimvakalelo zakho.
Ngoku qhubeka kwisenzo esikhulu.
Hlala phantsi kwaye uvale amehlo akho.
Yenza umphefumlo onzulu ngempumlo, kwaye ukhuphe umoya ngomlomo wakho. Phinda ugqomo olunjalo amaxesha amaninzi.
Umzimba wakho kufuneka uphumle kancinci ukusuka phezulu kwemilenze nezandla. Khawufane ucinge ukuba lo mhla wokuphumla wachukumisa iingcebiso zeminwe kwaye ibuyele phezulu phezulu.
Emva koko, kufuneka uve umzimba wakho kwaye uqonde iminyaka yakho yangoku, kunye nemeko yengqondo yakho. Cinga ukuba ubonile yonke into.
Emva koko, khawucinge nje ukuba umntwana wabonakala phambi kwakho. Isenokuba yinkwenkwe okanye intombazana (apha yonke into ixhomekeke kwisini sakho).
Umntwana nguwe. Umalunga neminyaka emihlanu ubudala. Khawufane ucinge indlela ekhangeleka ngayo. Zikhumbule zincinci, into oyinxibileyo inxibe. Jonga umntwana wakho.
Emva koko simele ngasese, yiya emntweni kwaye sinike isandla sakho. Thatha isandla somntwana kwisandla sakho. Uncinci kakhulu. Hlala ecaleni kwaye uzive ukukhula komntwana. Jonga amehlo akhe. Ukuba ufuna ngokwenene ukwanga umntwana, emva koko nyuse esidleleni, sesundu. Qiniseka ukuba unikela ingqalelo kwimpendulo yomntwana.
Amehlo omntwana kufuneka akuxelele kakhulu. Jonga, ulusizi, okanye nge-Zadrinka, ithini imibala yabo: i-carial okanye iblowu. Khumbula lo mzuzu. Ngoku ukufikelelwe eluthandweni. Emehlweni lo mntwana - amathemba akho. Thatha umntwana ngesandla. Makamenzakalise kuwe. Yiva kushushu kwaye inike intliziyo yakho kwesi senzo.
Cinga, ngoku ungamkhusela lo mntwana kwimpembelelo yomnye umntu, uya kumkhusela ngalo lonke ixesha. Mcele ukuba axele ukuba zeziphi izinto azilindeleyo kuwe. Sithembisa umntwana (ke) ukuba uza kuba malunga naye (malunga nayo) ukuba unakekele, ukukhusela kunye nokonwaba.
Cinga ngento onokuthi uyikhusele lo mntwana. Ukusuka kule nto uza kuziva ixhala kwaye uyeke ukoyika. Umntwana akasayi kuphinda akhathazekile ngokungazithembi.
Hug yakho "Ndisithi, yiyo, umntwana, kwaye uthembisa ukuba uza kuyikhusela. Yazi, le yeyona nto ibiza kakhulu onayo. Umntwana yimvakalelo yakho yangaphakathi.
Umntwana kufuneka aqonde ukuba uyamamela kwaye uyakhumbula ntoni ngaye.
Ekupheleni kweseshoni, faka umntwana phantsi kwaye ukhulule ngokuthe chu izandla zakho. Jonga ubuso bakhe. Iyakhanya. Inkangeleko itshintshile, kwaye yacaca ukuba iyakhazimla kulonwabo.
Yenza ukuphefumla ezimbalwa kunye nokuphefumla kwakhona kwaye uvule amehlo akho.
Ingcebiso
Enkosi kwezi ngcebiso, ukuqhelisela kwakho kuya kuba nempumelelo ngakumbi.
Zenzele, kuyafuneka ukucacisa isizathu sokuba unqwenela ukucamngca. Izizathu ezivakalayo ziya kunika impembelelo kwinkuthazo yenkuthalo.
Sukuqalisa iiklasi ezibonakala zidinisa kakhulu kuwe. Ngcono qala ngesincinci.
Cwangcisa umgca onokuthi uwanike ukucamngca. Ukuba uthanda ukulala kusasa, kwaye ke izixhobo zingcono ukwenza isidlo sasemini okanye ngokuhlwa. Yenza ukucamngca ngekhephu elingqongqo.
Ukuziqhelanisa kungcono kwindawo ethile, eya kuthi cwaka (ngaphandle kobukho babantwana kunye nezilwanyana). Ukuba awukwazi ukwenza nayiphi na isikhundla, esifana nesikhundla sophondo, emva koko sebenzisa isitulo sokuziqhelanisa. Hlala phezu kwayo, phantsi komqamelo, ubeke umqamelo.
Landela zonke iinguqu ezenzekayo nomzimba wakho kunye nomsebenzi wengqondo. Ukuze ube lula, fumana idayari uze ubhale phantsi zonke iinkqubo kuyo eziya kubonakala ngathi zibalulekile kuwe nakwinkqubela phambili.
Ukucamngca "Ukuphilisa umntwana wayo" kwividiyo engezantsi.