Ukutshatyalaliswa kolwalamano olukhoyo yinkqubo enzima kakhulu. Okwalo mzuzu, xa ufuna ukuyeka umntu esimthandayo, kuya kufuneka unikezele ngamacebo kunye namaphupha. Ikamva lingacacanga njengeentsuku ezimbalwa ezidlulileyo. Ukusuka kwisikhundla somntu wesithathu, kuhlala kungenakwenzeka ukuchaza ukuba kutheni le okanye isibini saqhekeka. Ewe, mandithini apho, ngamanye amaxesha amaqabane okuqala ngokwakhe ayazi izizathu zokwahlulahlula kude kube sekupheleni.
Kanye?
Ungayinxalenye ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Akunjalo rhoqo, kodwa kukho iimeko xa sithandana emva kwekhefu lethutyana liphindaphindeke kwakhona. Ngamanye amaxesha esi siganeko kubudlelwane sisomeleza uthando olungaphezulu komnye nomnye. Kodwa ayizizo zonke iimeko zokwahlula zilungile.
- Ezinye izibini emva kokuphela konxibelelwano zothando zigcina ubuhlobo okanye ubuhlobo obufudumeleyo. Ewe kunjalo, oku kunokwenzeka ukuba bobabini abantu bakwazi ukujamelana neemvakalelo kwaye baphazamise iimvakalelo ezibuhlungu. Kwenzeka ukuba ukusuka kwizibini zangaphambili ekugqibeleni zilungile kakhulu kwaye abahlobo abasondeleyo ebomini.
Rhoqo, ukwahlula iziphelo ngokukophula ngokupheleleyo. Ukuba iimvakalelo zomnye wamaqabane azizange ziphelelwe, nasiphi na isikhumbuzo kunye noqhakamshelwano lubangela ukuba nisenza buhlungu. Umsantsa uhlala ushiya ityala elinzulu, kwaye abantu kule meko bachithane ngabom.
- Izibini ezihlangabezana nentlekele yolwalamano zihlala zithatha isigqibo ngokuhambelana. Esi sisithukuthezi esihle sengqondo, amandla okucinga kwaye avavanye iimvakalelo zakho. Uthando olunyanisekayo emva kokudibana kwakhona kuphela. Kodwa akufuneki ubhenele kule ndlela nangayiphi na ingxaki kubudlelwane.
- Izithuba zinzima kakhulu, apho umntu okanye omabini amaqabane agcina iimvakalelo ezinyanisekileyo. Nokuba zithini na izizathu zokwahluka, umntu unyanzelekile ukuba agungqe phakathi komnqweno wokuba nentanda yakhe kunye nokungakwazi kuqhubeke nolwalamano. Iimvakalelo zinokugcinwa kwaye zingapheli iinyanga ezininzi nakwiminyaka. Ukuhamba, ukuthanda, amandla amakhulu aya kufuneka. Rhoqo oku kukhokelela kuxinzelelo olude.
Izizathu zokuqhekeka
Kutheni ungabathandi abanye abantu? Zithini izizathu zeqabane elinye okanye omabini amaqabane athanda ukwaphula ubudlelwane? Zeziphi izinto kunye neemeko zobomi ezikhokelela ekuqhekekeni kwezibini kunye nemibutho yosapho?
- Isizathu sokwaphula ubudlelwane kunokuba Ukuphoxeka kwiqabane. Abantu abaninzi, ngakumbi abaselula, kufuneka baqhotyoshelwe ukwenza ubunzima beempawu zabo ezithandekayo ezingenazo iimpawu, ezibonisa umfanekiso ofanelekileyo nowufumanekileyo. Ngokukodwa kusoloko kuphoxeka ngokukhawuleza kwenzeka emva kokuqala kokuphila kunye. Ubomi obuqhelekileyo butyhila ngaphambi koko oko akubonakalisi okanye bekucwangciswa ngobuchule iintsilelo kunye neempawu zobuntu bomntu. Rhoqo, akukho vawutsha yokuphila ngokudibeneyo, kwanesibini esidibene nayo iminyaka eliqela siyekile.
- Inokukhokelela ekuthatheni ukwahlukana okuqinileyo kwemidla kwaye Ukungasebenzi kwabalinganiswa. Kunzima kakhulu ukuba kunye nabo bangabelana nabo ngezinto zokuzonwabisa, iimbono zobomi. Ebudlelwaneni, inkxaso yomculo ibalulekile, ukwamkelwa kweqabane. Kodwa ngokujonga ngokusisiseko kwehlabathi, ukwakha kunye nokugcina ukuthembana, ezele kukuqonda kunye nokuhloniphana ngolwalamano akunakulindeleka ukuba uphumelele.
- Ukwahlula nomfana okanye intombazana inokwenzeka Ngenxa yokuphulukana nomdla kwiqabane. Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane, ukufuna ukwenza eyona nto iphambili kwaye woyise intliziyo yomntu othandekayo, abathandi baqinisana ngezipho, amazwi amnandi, iifowuni kunye nezinye amanqaku aqwalaselweyo. Emva koko, kunzima ukuza kuthi ga ngoku ukuba bonke oomanyano kwixesha elidlulileyo. Kwaye abafazi kunye namadoda babaluleke kakhulu ukuba baziva ingqalelo kwiqabane labo nangaliphi na ixesha ubudlelwane obude. Ukunqongophala kweenkxalabo kunye neempawu zothando zihlala ziguqulelwa njengokuphikisana kweemvakalelo.
- Ubuxoki Kuyakwazi ukutshabalalisa ubudlelwane obunobuhlobo kunye nothando. Ukuba inkohliso iphindaphindwa ngokuphindaphindiweyo kwaye ngabom, ishiya inxeba elinzulu kwaye linokuyonakalisa isimo sengqondo nomntu othambekele kwi-vice. Ngaphandle kokuvuleka kunye nokuthembana nophando, kuba amanye amaqabane kufuneka ahlale elumkile.
- Ikhwele elininzi kunye nelinye lamaqabane amanye amaqabane akwazi ukuguqula ubudlelwane kubethane. Umona onomona ufuna ukulawula onke amanyathelo omthanda ayo, ihlala ilungele ukungancisi kwakhe, imifanekiso yokungathembani kunye nezikhubekiso. Ubomi obudibeneyo buguqukela kwidabi lokwenyani. Iqabane elinye lilwela ukubanjwa kwenkululeko yazo kunye nelungelo lokufumana kunye nezinto onomdla kuzo. Enye ifuna ukuyibeka kangangoko kunokwenzeka, thumela kulawulo lwayo.
- Imikhwa epheleleyo okanye ukuxhomekeka komntu omthandayo. Ukunxila, isiyobisi kwiziyobisi okanye imidlalo yingxaki enzima kakhulu, eyenzakalisayo kunye nenkxalabo kubo bonke abaxhomekeke kuzo. Iifom ezinzima zotywala kunye nokunyanga iziyobisi kuhlala kuhamba kunye nokunyhashayo ngendlela yokuziphatha. Ke ngoko, ukugcinwa kobudlelwane obuqhelekileyo kuya kungenakwenzeka, kwaye indawo yokuhlala edibeneyo ayinyamezeleki.
- Izihlobo kunye nezihlobo zomntu osuka kwisibini zinokungenelela kubudlelwane. Rhoqo, abazali bakaRyano bayathintela iManyano, njengonyuliweyo okanye onyuliweyo, ngokoluvo lwabo, alifanelekanga kwi-chad yakhe ethandekayo. Ngenxa yokuxhomekeka kwezemali okanye inamathele kakhulu, abantu abaselula bahlala bezinyanzela ukuba balandele ukuthanda umzali. Nangona kunjalo, abazali abalupheleyo banokusebenzisa kwaye basebenze kakhulu abantu abadala kwanabantwana abakwiminyaka ephakathi.
- Ukuphathwa gadalala okanye ukuphathwa gadalala ngokwasemzimbeni, i-blackmail, i-gorimple-elungileyo kakhulu kwaye izizathu ezifanelekileyo zokwahlukana. Umntu othambekele ekubeni abuyele kwiqabane ukuba afumane iqabane leemvakalelo ezimbi kunye nezithuko, akunakulindeleka ukuba ayeke imodeli yokuziphatha. Kodwa lowo uwatshisayo amazinyo akhe, uya kunyamezela yonke le nto, umngcipheko ufumana ukophula umthetho, i-rive engapheliyo kwaye ilangazelelo kwaye ixesha elide ukuba lithethe ukuzithemba kwazo.
Unobangela wokwahlukana kunokuba yinto enjalo njengemali. Iingxaki zezezimali zinokuba ngumntu ophumeleleyo. Impilo-ntle kunye nokuzithemba ngemini yangomso kubaluleke kakhulu kwisibini. Imbono ecacileyo yokujonga intanda yakhe kubuhlwempu iya kwenza abantu bambalwa.
- Ukuvukela Iyabuhlungu kwaye iphinde ipele kulowo uthathe isigqibo malunga nenqanaba elinjalo, ngelixa unobuhlobo obusisigxina. Uninzi oluninzi kunye namantombazana bayakwazi ukuxolela kakhulu, kodwa kungekuphela. Kwaye xa kwakufika ububele emva konyaka wosapho ochumileyo wobomi, uyandiva nje. Sinda ngokuvukela ulwalamano kwinqanaba elinye kulawula ipesenti encinci ye-Steam.
- Iingxaki kwisibini sobomi besini Banokutyhala ekuphuculeni ubudlelwane. Kubi kakhulu ukuba kwisibini asikulungelanga ukuxoxa ngokwaneleyo ngesondo, baveze iminqweno yakhe okanye izimvo kwiqabane. Ngenxa yoko, isibini sihamba kancinci komnye nomnye.
- I-monotonition yokuphila kunye Ukunqongophala kwezinto ezintsha ezinomdla azibanzi igalelo ekomelezeni ubudlelwane. Kwisibini esitshatileyo ubomi obudibeneyo ixesha elide, ingxaki yemikhwa yenzeka kwinqanaba elithile. Ikhonkco elikhoyo linesithukuthezi kwaye umnqweno wokutshintsha wenzeka. Ukuba akukho namnye wamaqabane oziva esinye isoyikiso kwaye wazama ukwenza into entsha ngokunxulumene nolwalamano, isibini sinyamalala.
- Uvavanyo olunzulu ngobudlelwane bexesha elide Iminyaka yobudala. Ngobomi babo, wonke umntu ufumana amanye amaxesha amaninzi kwaye aguqula amaxesha. Ngamaxesha anje, isoyikiso ihlala itshatile okanye ubudlelwane. Kwiingxaki ezincinci, ukungavumi kubonakaliswa ngumnqweno obukhali wotshintsho lwekhadinali. Kwamaxesha anjalo, umntu okanye intombazana okanye intombazana idla ngokuthi "nqumle isiphelo", basela bonke abatsha, abangaziwayo, abangakwaziyo, benxanelwe utshintsho olungcono kunye nokuvuma kwezenzo ezingcono kunye nokuzimisela kwizenzo ezifanelekileyo. Iingxaki ezikwiminyaka emihlanu zihlala zihamba kunye ne-Apatine, uxinzelelo, imvakalelo yokuphoxeka ebomini. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, kubalulekile ukwamkela ingcambu yengxaki kwaye inike inkxaso yenkxaso efanelekileyo.
Ngeendlela ezinzima zokuhamba kobunzima beminyaka yobudala, kungcono ukuthatha ithuba lonyango lwe-psychotherapist.
Malunga nokufuneka inxalenye yendoda, bona ividiyo elandelayo.