Kwimbono yengqondo yengqondo, umntu unokuchaza inani elikhulu leemvakalelo ezahlukeneyo. Kwaye unokubonakalisa iimvakalelo zabo ukuba angahlala ngaphakathi kuye. Namhlanje kwinqaku lethu siza kuthetha nge-phenomeno ebalulekileyo njengenceba, kwaye siqwalasele iimvakalelo ezingabalulekanga kuzo.
Yintoni?
Kuyimfuneko ukuqaphela into yokuba namhlanje akukho nkcazo icacileyo kunye nengcinga eyamkelekileyo ngokubanzi yemfesane. Le mvakalelo ihlala inxulunyaniswa nothando, ukuqonda, intlonipho kunye noncedo lokubulala.
Ukuthelekisa-kuthetha ukuvelana nokuvelana kwaye kuvelane. Kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuba eyona nto ibalulekileyo iya kufumaneka kuphela ukuba iyasebenza.
Ngokwo ngokwayo, uVuthalo (uvelwano, uvelwano) yinto efundwayo kwaye ihlalutywe kumanqanaba obomi bomntu.
- Inkolo. Isakhono sokumvelisi simgangatho obalulekileyo omele ukuba naye wonke umntu wenkolo. Kukholelwa ukuba yeyona ndlela iphezulu yobukho bomntu. Iinkokeli ezininzi zonqulo ezininzi zicebisa ukuba ububele luhlobo lonxibelelwano olunokunxibelelana naye.
- Isisa. Imbono ithathwa njengeluvo lokuba zizityebi kakhulu kwaye abantu abadumileyo banokuzibandakanya kwisibeleko. Nangona kunjalo, le nyaniso ayiyonyaniso. Ngapha koko, abantu abaqhelekileyo banokuzibandakanya noCharity: Ngokubaluleke kakhulu, khumbula ukuba awukwazi ukuncama imali yakho kuphela, kodwa nexesha.
- Ukuphuculwa ngokwakho. Ngale ndlela, ukuphucula ukuziphucula kufuneka kuthathelwe ingqalelo njengomsebenzi wokomoya kuye, ukwala ngokupheleleyo i-egosm kwaye ukusuka ekuboneni kobuntu bakhe njengeyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu kwaye ilunge ngakumbi.
Ngokubanzi, ububele njengemvakalelo akunakwenzeka ukungabikho kwabanye abantu kunye nokuhoya kubo. Umntu onobubele naye ungena kwimiceli mngeni yabanye abantu, ubonise uvelwano. Kule meko, le mvakalelo ayisiyo inyama yemfesane, edla ngokufumana abanye abantu. Kwangelo xesha, ububele bungahambi kakuhle. Umntu onemfesane akazami ukusombulula iingxaki zabanye, akabonisi ukuthambetha ngokunxulumene nabanye, akazibekeli ngaphezulu kunabanye. Ngokuchasene noko, iyanceda kwaye ithumela, ixhasa iimeko ezinzima.
Kukholelwa ukuba ububele yimvakalelo yokuba ubukhulu becala kubameli belinye icala loluntu, kodwa kuphosakele ngokupheleleyo. Olu phawu kubuntu lwayo kufuneka luphuhlise bobabini abafazi kunye namadoda. Ngayiphi na imeko, ukuze uthelekise, kuye kufuneke ukuba ngumntu omelele ngokomoya kwaye omelele.
Yintoni enika umntu umntu?
Ubuntu obunjalo buhlobo, njengemfesane, kubalulekile (ngakumbi kweli xesha lethu). Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ngale ndlela, ayisiyiyo kuphela loo mntu rhoqo, ngokunxulumene nokuzibonakalisa kokuzibonakalisa, kodwa naLowo ubonakalisa ngayo. Ngenxa yoko, ukusuka kwindawo yokujonga i-psychology kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ikwazi ukubonisa ububele ebantwini ngeenxa zonke.
Iimvakalelo zovelwano ziyafuneka ebomini, njengoko zikhula njengezizazisi kunye nenqanaba lokomoya lomntu.
- Ngenxa yemfesane kubume bomntu, ezo mvakalelo zibalulekileyo zikhula njengenceba, ukuthobeka nabantu. Ukucinga kunye nezenzo zobuntu zibhetyebhetye ngakumbi, umntu wonwabe ngakumbi kwaye unethemba elingakumbi.
- Umlinganiswa ukhulisa iimpawu ezintle, izinto ezingalunganga zinyamalala (ingqumbo, intiyo, ikratshi, umona kwaye ngaphezulu).
- Ngokwam, ubomi bufumana intsingiselo engakumbi kunye nentsingiselo ephezulu. Umntu uhlala ngaphandle kwakhe, iminqweno kunye neemfuno zakhe, kodwa nabantu abamngqongile.
- Umphefumlo womntu ugcwele luthando (bobabini kuye kunye nabanye). Abantu abaninzi abahlakulela ububele ngenkuthalo yenza inkalo enkulu, amandla namandla okukhonza abanye.
Nangona kunjalo nangona ububele ngokwayo buyalelwa kwabanye, inefuthe elihle kumntu obonisa loo nto.
Ibonakala njani?
Uvelwano (njengembonakaliso yemeko yengqondo eqhelekileyo yomntu) inokubonakaliswa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Masithethe malunga nabo ngakumbi.
- Okokuqala, kuyimfuneko ukutsho malunga nolu phawu uphawu. Umntu onemfesane abonakalisa ububele kwaye unonophele abanye abantu, ngenxa yoku, umhlaba wonke ujonge kwaye waqonda imeko elungileyo.
- Ukuphendula kukuphendula ngokunyaniseka kubunzima babanye, uncedo kwizimo ezimiselweyo, amandla okubonelela ngenkxaso.
- Umntu onemfesane uya kuba nemfesane. Olu phawu lujongwa njengeyona nto ibalulekileyo kuluntu oluhlanganisiweyo.
- I-Altingruism ikhululekile kwaye yabulala abanye abantu kwimeko xa befumana iintlungu okanye ukonakaliswa.
Eyona nto imbi kakhulu kwaye ibaluleke kakhulu kwimvakalelo yemfesane kukuhamba kwamavolontiya. Ngokubanzi, amavolontiya ngabantu ababandakanyeka kwezona zinto zibalulekileyo zohlobo olohlukileyo. Umzekelo, izinto ezinjalo zinokubonakalisa ekuncedeni izilwanyana, iinkedama, abantu ngaphandle kwendawo yokuhlala ethile, abantu abadala kunye nabanye abaninzi.
Imvakalelo yemfesane inokusetyenziswa kungekuphela nje kwinkqubo yokuvolontiya, kodwa nakwinkqubo yobudlelwane phakathi kwabantu. Ke, akukho mfuneko yokuba ujonge umvuzo ophantsi okanye abantu abangakhuselekanga- kwanele ukuba baqonde kwaye bathathe ubunzima bendawo oyisondeleyo kwaye uzame ukunceda (njengenxalenye yezakhono zabo).
Yintoni eyahlukileyo kwimfesane?
Umahluko phakathi kweemvakalelo ezinje ngemfesane kunye nemfesane yi-Kiolossal. Uninzi lude lubone ezi mpawu zomntu ngokuchaseneyo. Kukholelwa ukuba ngokwako - imvakalelo (etshabalalisayo). Akubonakaliswanga nakweyiphi na izenzo, iyadlula. Ngokwahlukileyo koko, inceba ihlala ikuyila kwaye isebenza, ivela entliziyweni kwaye iphawuleka ngelona nqanaba liphezulu lokunyaniseka.
Amandla avelisayo Imvakalelo yovelwano iyafuneka ekuphumeni kwabona meko inzima.
Iimvakalelo eziyimfuneko
Kubalulekile ukuba uqonde ukuba ububele asisihlobo olunye-yimvakalelo ebanzi. Isekwe kwinani elikhulu leemvakalelo ezisisiseko.
- Inceba. Malunga nendalo kunye nobume beli nqaku zinokugwetywa sisihloko, ngokuqonda, sibonisa "intliziyo entle" yomntu. Indoda enenceba iya kuhlala inikezela ngenkani ne-chimney. Ngapha koko, inceba ivakalisa ukusixolela nokulibala kakubi, ukungaphumi ububi.
- Ububele. Uninzi lwabantu abaninzi banxibelelanisa ububele nononophelo. Ifanele ikukhumbule ukuba iimvakalelo azisoloko zicaca. Umzekelo, ukhathalelo lwabazali ngamanye amaxesha lunokubonakala ngathi lujongeka njengemithintelo okanye ingqolowa egqithisileyo, kodwa enyanisweni inesithuba sexesha elide, kwaye ayifunwanga ixesha elifutshane, isiphumo.
- Intlonelo. Ukuba umntu ubonakalisa imfesane eyinyani nenyanisekile, kwangaxeshanye wayebonisa kwaye eyihlone. Ukuba akukho phawu lungolu hlobo, ngemfesane itshintshwe yimfesane. Kungagqiba kwelokuba intlonipho kunye nokuqonda ziimpawu ezingenakubonwa kwemfesane.
- Umonde. Uvelwano ludibene nomonde. Ukuba umntu unomonde ngokunxulumene nabanye, iintsilelo zabo kunye neempawu ezimbi, ke kunokubizwa ngokuba yimfesane.
- Uthando. Ngokucacileyo, isiseko sovelwano, kunye nazo zonke ezinye iimpawu ezintle zomntu, luthando (kuye kunye nabanye). Uthando kufuneka lube ngokubanzi kwaye lube luhlobo lonke. Ukongeza, olona thando luqaqambileyo lubonakalisiwe xa ububele bubonakalisiwe ukuba bungayi kuvalwa kwaye baqhele, kodwa kubantu abangagunyaziswanga.
Ngenxa yoko, umntu onobubele, kufuneka obonakalise ezinye iimpawu ezinxulumene nendalo.
Ungafunda njani?
Okokuqala, kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba ububele bungakholelwa kumntu ngamnye. Nangona kunjalo, inqanaba layo lingahluka kwaye lihluka. Kubalulekile ukuba uqonde ukuba nokuba ububele bunyanisekile, bunokuvela kuphela kusapho (ngokunxulumene nabantu ababathandayo). Ngokunxulumene nentlekele yomnye umntu kwihlabathi lanamhlanje kukho ingxaki yokubonakaliswa kwemfesane.
Kungenxa yoko le nto kubaluleke kakhulu ukufundisisa imfesane-amandla okubonisa ngokuchanekileyo le mvakalelo idlala indima ebalulekileyo kubomi bomntu ngamnye. Kwangelo xesha, ukungabikho kunye nokungakwazi ukubonakalisa ububele (umzekelo, ukuba awuyilungelanga ukusebenzisa ngaphakathi) kungayichaphazela kakubi imeko yengqondo neyengqondo yomntu, ukubangela ukuba kuvela imeko yengqondo neyengqondo. Kubalulekile ukuba ingxaki yabanye abantu ibangela ukuba nempendulo kumphefumlo wakho kunye nentliziyo yakho.
Ngaphandle kwento yokuba imfundo yemfesane inokuthatha ixesha elide, kwaye ifuna amandla amaninzi kunye namandla, olu phawu kufuneka lufunde. Kukho isicwangciso esiliqili esilula.
I-custita yesiqhelo
Into yokuqala ekufuneka uyenzile kukwenza isiko lasekuseni ngokwakho. Yiba nombulelo ngento ovukele isibakala sokuba usempilweni, kuba abo ubathandayo, emva kophahla entloko kunye nezinye izinto ezilula, kodwa ezibalulekileyo. Ukongeza, kubalulekile ukuba uzithembise ukuqala indlela yokuziphucula kunye nokuziphucula. Nangona kunjalo, le migaqo ifanele ifakwe kungekuphela nje ngokunxulumana ngokwabo, kodwa nakwabanye. Kwaye ngentsimbi yesiqhelo, kuyacetyiswa ukuba uqhekeze imvakalelo enjalo njengemfesane.Uluntu
Kwinkqubo yokunxibelelana nabanye abantu, zama ukunikela ingqalelo ngakumbi kwinto ekungakulunyani, hayi kwimahluko wakho. Zama ukugxininisa oko, ngaphandle kokungahambelani nokungahambelani (umzekelo, kwi-APME okanye iMbali yeHlabathi), sonke singalingana phakathi kwabo. Ebomini, sonke sidibana noxinzelelo olufanayo kunye nobunzima, ke kuya kufuneka uncede kwaye uxhase omnye komnye.
Ukuxolelwa ekubandezelweni
Emva kokuba uphucule amanqanaba amabini okuqala, unokuqhubeka nokuziqhelanisa nenkululeko yokubandezeleka. Kuqondwa ukuba emva kokuba ufunde uvelwano, baqala ukuqonda, malunga nokuba yintoni ubunzima abajamelana nayo abanye abantu, kwaye bayazi ukuba bazibeka njani endaweni yabo, kufuneka bazame ukuzikhulula ekubandezelweni. Cinga ngento onokuyithatha ukuze ususe iimvakalelo ezingafunekiyo, kunye noncedo lokususa kwabanye.
Ububele
Njengoko kuchaziwe apha ngasentla, ububele luphawu olusisiseko semfesane. Ukuqulunqwa kolu phawu, kubaluleke ukuba udale imisebenzi eyahlukeneyo ekucingeni kwabo. Umzekelo, ukumela iimeko ezibi apho wena okanye obathandayo uya kuba nako ukubonakala kubi, kwaye emva koko uyicinge indlela onokubanceda ngayo, bonisa olona phawu lubalulekileyo lobume bakho. Kwangelo xesha, khumbula ukuba obungaphezulu kunye nobubele obukhulu kufuneka bugcinwe.Ububele kwiintshaba
Onke amanyathelo achazwe ngasentla aya kukunceda ukuba ufunde ukuthelekisa abahlobo bakho nezihlobo, kunye namalungu osapho lwakho. Nangona kunjalo, olu hlobo lovelwano luyeyona ndlela ilula, ngokufuthi luphawuleka kubantu ngokuzalwa, kuyimfuneko ukuphuhlisa kancinci kwaye kuphuculwe.
Nangona kunjalo, kunokuba nzima ukubonisa imfesane kubantu bomnye umntu okanye kwabo baneemvakalelo ezichaseneyo (kwaye bafumane into efanayo). Kule meko, kwakhona, kufuneka ubhenele ekusombululeni iingxaki zengqondo. Kwangelo xesha, kufuneka ukhumbule ukuba nakwiimeko ezingenakuthelekiswa nanto, awuyi kuba natyala ukuba ucofe okanye abonise iimvakalelo ezingathinteleki. Kule meko, umbono wokuba nemfesane kwisimo sengqondo omnye umntu udlala indima ebalulekileyo. Kuya kufuneka uqonde ukuba neentshaba zakho ezindleleni zabo zobomi dibana nobunzima obukhulu, ubunzima kunye nemiqobo.
Isiko langokuhlwa
Emva kokuba unamathele nayo yonke imisebenzi yangaphambili, kuya kufuneka uthathele ingqalelo ukumiswa kwesiko langokuhlwa. Ke, qho ngokuhlwa, ngaphambi kokulala, kubalulekile ukucinga ngendlela onezinto ezintle oziphethe ngayo, kubathandekayo bakho, kunye nabantu bomnye umntu.
Ke, ukulandela lo myalelo, unokuba ngumntu onemfesane ohloniphayo kwaye uthanda wonke umntu ngeenxa zonke.
