Ukubonakaliswa kovelwano kumntu othile kunokuba luphawu lokuqala lwemvelaphi yeemvakalelo ezinzulu. Kwangelo xesha, iingxaki ezininzi zabantu bale mihla zibangelwa kukuba incwadana yemigaqo ingenakukwazi ukuqonda iimvakalelo zabo, ekugqithiseni kwabo okanye kuchaphazele. Ukuze ungazenzi iimpazamo, kufuneka uqonde ngokuchanekileyo, uyanemfesane nomntu okanye hayi.
Yintoni kwaye kutheni ivela?
Igama elithi "uvelwano" liguqulelwa kwisiGrike njenge- "Tract" kwaye ichazwa njengohlobo oluthile lokuzibandakanya. Ukuba umntu omnye uvele omnye, oko akuthethi ukuba uyayithanda inkangeleko yakhe - kunokuba imalunga nemvakalelo yokuthathwa kweemvakalelo. Lo ngumnqweno wokwemvelo wokulonwabisa, kuba into yovelwano inxibelelene kuphela neemvakalelo eziqinisekileyo. Ngokufutshane, kwixabiso lekota alizukusebenza, kuba kwi-Psychology akukho sigqibo sokukreqo, kodwa sisaya kudibana kwizinto ezinqabileyo.
Uvelwano alumele lube lubanjiswa ngombulelo- ukuba okwesibini yimpendulo ethe ngqo kwezinye izinto, owokuqala uphakama ngokwakho kwaye unokubonakala ekho ngelishwa. Kwiimeko ezininzi, kwenzeka ngexesha lokuthandana ngokuqatha ekuqaleni, xa kungekho mazwi malunga nenjongo yokubangelwa kukusebenza kwengqondo. Abanye oochwephesha bengqondo bagqiba i-phenomenon njengetrasti engalunganga, engasekelwanga nakuphi na iitsheki.
Nangona kunjalo, uvelwano lunokuvela nzulu okanye luvele kwinkqubo yedrama edibeneyo, ngakumbi ukuba ufumanisa ukuba abantu babini baneempawu ezininzi, kodwa kwangaxeshanye abafani.
Ukuphuhliswa kovelwano olupheleleyo, kubalulekile ukuba abathathi-nxaxheba bento eyenzekayo abayiqondi kakuhle imida yendawo yomnye umntu kwaye bengazange bawaphule. D. Ukongeza, ukuba umntu uthanda, kodwa ungenammisi osondeleyo, uya kuthathelwa ingqalelo njengomsindo, kwaye unokulibala malunga neempawu ezintle. Ukuba inkqubo yayiye, ke inovelwano luvelwano ngexesha, into yovelwano ivumela into yovelwano kwindawo anovelwano, kuba le yindalo yomntu-sifuna ukumthemba umntu.
Inguqulelo yalonto I-Ocho kwaye phakathi kovelwano ovelayo, zininzi kwaye zahluka. I-biogists idla ngokuchaza le nto ngendlela yabo: imizimba yethu ilungiselelwe ukukhangela iqabane kunye, iseti ethile yevumba, kunye ne-subleacence siyaqonda ukuba i-genome eyongezelelweyo Iya kuba luncedo kubantwana. Iingcali zengqondo zithetha ngenye indlela: Sinemfesane kubantu besithi, kuba ke sinokuqonda ngokulula omnye komnye.
Ngamanye amaxesha uvelwano lunokuzibonakalisa njengempendulo kwindlela umntu anovelwano ngayo kuthi. Indoda, ukuba yintlalo, ngokungazi nto izama ukumisela ubudlelwane obulungileyo nabanye, kwaye xa umntu ekuphatha kakuhle, unokufumana imvakalelo encinci yetyala ngokungaphenduli.
Intlonelo kunye neenkonzo ezincinci zemihla ngemihla kwiqela zinokubangela uvelwano phakathi kwamalungu alo.
Kukho umxholo weAntipathy - iimvakalelo, ezichasene novelwano. Njengovelwano, i-Antipathy inokwenzeka bobabini ngoko nangoko, xa sibona kuqala, kwaye sivele kamva, ukufumana amandla njengokuthandana. Kuyenzeka ukuba uyichaze ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo - kunokuba ngathi nengcikivo, ukungathandi, ukwahlula-lwa ngaphandle kwangaphakathi. Apho Ubuntu ababona i-Antipathy komnye umntu unokuqonda ngokungazi ukuba ayisebenzi, kodwa akukho nto inokwenza nantoni na. Ukuvavanywa kwe-Antipathy, sitolike umqondiso kwimveli yethu, enika ingxelo yokuba into engayithandiyo inokuba yingozi. Iingcali zikholelwa ukuba ukuqonda okunjalo kunokubangelwa kukhumbuzelwe kwimorimotics. Kule meko, i-Antipathy yoluntu ayibalulekanga kunovelwano.
Iimpawu ezisisiseko
Uvelwano oluvela komnye umntu kufuneka lubonwa ngexesha elifanelekileyo, kufuneka lugqitywe ngexesha kwaye liphendule kwalo - ngenye indlela enovelwano inokukhubekisa ibe yiAntipath. Umntu ufanele atyebe ekuboniseni iimvakalelo zakhe ngamagama kunye nolwimi lomzimba, axhase izimbo zomzimba kunye nemiqondiso, kwaye ahlala kuphela ukuze aziqonde. Ukuphelisa ukuthandabuza ukuba umntu ebezele luvelwano, cinga ngemizekelo ethile yokuba kunokubonakala kuyo.Ngomlomo
Ngemiboniso yomlomo, yonke into ilula kakhulu - le ndoda iya kuthi iyakuthanda, kwaye akunyanzelekanga ukuba uqikelele. Kwiimeko ezininzi, kunjalo, ibinzana aliyi kulwa njengengokoqobo. Kodwa le ntombazana ivela emntwini, umzekelo, iya kuhlala iva izincomo, kwaye nayo iya kuphefumlelwa ukuba icele uncedo nakwimeko apho bekuya kwenjenjalo ukubonisa ukuba ubuthathaka kwaye unoncedo into enokubonelela.
Kuba uvelwano alusoloko lunxulumene nolwalamano oluthandayo kulo naluphi na uhlobo lwayo, kuyabonakala nakweziphi na amabinzana akho. Ayinamsebenzi ukuba iya kuba yiyo - ukuvunywa kwezimvo ngobomi okanye indumiso ngenkuthalo emsebenzini.
Ngamanye amaxesha kwanebinzana elingathathi hlangothi elinje "ndicinga njalo" kwimeko apho kungekho mntu uyakuxhasa, unokuthetha ukuba uyayishiya kwaye ungafuni kuye wonke umntu.
Engathethi ngomlomo
Ukuba yonke into icacile kwaye icacile ngembonakalo yomlomo, oko kukubonakaliswa ngamazwi ngemvakalelo ehlala itolika ngokungachanekanga. Ngapha koko, Kwiimeko ezininzi, umntu ongabanga naluphi na uphuhliso lobudlelwane, kodwa eneemfesane, akazange athethe nantoni na ngayo. Nangona kunjalo, kunokwenzeka ukuba ubambe ngokusebenza kwakho, ngokwezenzo ezithile, ezihlala zingenantsingiselo kwaye zinokunikela ingxelo yezazisi.
Kukho isicatshulwa esidumileyo esidumileyo esibonisa ukuba "uthando" njengento "ifuna ukuxhalabisa." Ukuba sithetha ngenkangeleko yomntu emfazini, lo mthetho usebenza kungekuphela nje kwimeko yothando olunzulu, kodwa kwimeko yovelwano. Ewe kunjalo, kunokuba kukubini ngembeko, kodwa yonke le nto iyondla, kodwa zonke ezi zinto zitya indlala, kodwa ziyibambe, zibambe i-elbow, zinokunikela ubungqina malunga nokusebenza kwaseburhulumenteni.
Ukwahlula inkathalo evela kwinkathalo yesiseko kule meko kulula kakhulu: Intlonelo ayifuni ukuba indoda ijonge intombazana kwaye izabalazele ukuba isondele kuye.
Ngokuchasene ne-stereotype, ihanjiswa ziinoveli zothando, ukuze indoda iqhele ukungalandeli umfazi ofanayo kangangeminyaka, kodwa kwangoko jikelele ingqalelo kwenye ukuba i-EQALISI ihambelana nokuphindaphindiweyo. Ukuba inenekazi limnandi kangangokuba latsala umdla, kwaye ndifuna ukudibanisa umphumo, kufuneka ndivakalise ukuphindaphinda ngohlobo olunye okanye enye. Kwiimeko ezininzi, kuya kuba kwanele ukuqala ngoncumo olunobuhlobo kummeli wesini esomeleleyo.
Uvelwano lomfazi kwindoda inokuzibonakalisa kunxibelelwano oluqaqambileyo olukhanyayo kunye nomnqweno wokusondela, kodwa zikho ezinye iinkalo. Manene manenekazi ngakumbi badinga intuthuzelo, kodwa kodwa abanyuliweyo bafuna ukuqinisekisa ukuba ezona meko zikhululekile-ke, zibonisa ngokucacileyo ukhathalelo lwendoda. Bayayintshabalalo ngononophelo. Kwaye ukuba intombazana ihlala inomdla, njengoko unaba mamela, kuyabathanda, sele bubungqina obukhoyo bobubele obukhoyo, nokuba ayithethi ngayo. Ngapha koko, inenekazi, njengamadoda, linokubonisa inyathelo lokuqala kubudlelwane, kwaye kule meko akukho sizathu sokuthandabuza uhlobo lwento eyenzekayo.
Ukuba amathandabuzo isizathu esithile sisahleli, ukuvavanya ingcinga yabo ilula: Indoda inovelwano kwaye ilandele ukuba imvakalelo yentombazana iya kuphucuka.
Kwenzekani?
Umahluko ophambili ovela kulwalamano kukuba uvelwano lokuqala phakathi kwayo nayiphi na imiphefumlo enxulumene noko - nokuba kungekho mazwi anokuthandana nolwalamano olulandelayo. Umzekelo weklasi we-phenomeno ungonovelwano olunobuhlobo oluhlala luvela phakathi kwabantu besini esifanayo nexesha, ngokwenene, njengabahlobo. Kule meko, unobangela weliklithi yiNgcaciso, kwaye indawo ibangelwa kukujonga izimvo kunye nezinto zokuzonwabisa. "Ungulomntu okrelekrele," sikhulu eLadim "- le yeyona mizekelo iqaqambileyo yokuqinisekiswa komlomo ngenxa yokuba uvelwano sele lubonakalisiwe. Kwangelo xesha, abantu besini esinye asicacanga kwimvakalelo enobuhlobo.
Ingcinga eyahlukileyo ngokupheleleyo yimfihlo okanye ivelisekile efihliweyo. Ubungqina bayo kukuba umntu ngesazela okanye ngokungazi sifuna ukungabonisi ukuba kukho umntu onomdla kuye. Ngamanye amaxesha, umntu ohlangabezana novelwano akafuni ukwamkela ubukho bendawo - umzekelo, ukuba into ethile kwingqondo ethile ayilunganga ". Kuhlala kukhunjuzwa ukuba inkangalo ivele ivela ngokungazi, kuba sinokuthanda "imeko" engenanto ", kunye noluntu olubi kunye nemikhwa emibi kunye neyodwa. Imfihlakalo yemfihlakalo kwiimeko ezininzi inokuba yingxaki kulowo uhlangabezana nayo, kuba, ekunyanzelwe ukuba uzibambe ngokwabo, umntu uwela kuxinzelelo.
Ngapha koko, kwezinye iimeko, isiphoso sokungakwazi ukubonakalisa iimvakalelo eziyinyani sabelwe endaweni ngokwayo, okanye ulale, okanye nomoya, uvelwano lunokukhula eAnti dath.
Ingayigqibela kangakanani?
Uvelwano yimvakalelo engenalo ixesha elithile. Ukufika ngokuthe ngqo ngexesha lokuthandana, kuyinyani mhlawumbi inzonzobila kwangaloo mini, ukuba umntu oqhelileyo omaziyo wayezibonakalisa kwi-fan embi kwaye uya kutyhalela i-fan yakhe entsha. Kwimeko engacalulanga yovelwano, inokubakho iiveki neenyanga ngaphandle kokubonakaliswa kwalo naliphi na intsingiselo, ngakumbi ukuba le mvakalelo ifanelekile ngokupheleleyo. Ukoneliseka sisibakala sokuba uvelwano lungafanelekanga (okanye kubonakala ngathi, ngenxa yokunqongophala kwelinyathelo), umntu okwiimeko ezithile unokuphoxeka kwi-deftions yomphefumlo, iguqula intle Imvakalelo e-Antipathy.
Ngasentla, sasizithathela ingqalelo ukhetho olubi olwahlukileyo lokuphuhliswa kovelwano, apho kuhlala khona iinyanga ezinde, kodwa akukhokelele nakuphi na uphuhliso lwemeko. Enye into kukuba imvakalelo yovelwano ngamaxesha anokwenza nzulu kuphela ukuba, njengoko umntu omaziyo, imvakalelo iyahambelana, kwaye ukuba imeko elandelayo yecala iphucula ngakumbi. Kule meko, uvelwano lusongela ekuqaleni okanye kamva ukuba lukhule ibe yinto engaphezulu - nokuba ngumhlobo, okanye uthando nothando. Olu tshintsho luya kuhlala luhlala ixesha elide, luxhomekeke kumsebenzi oboniswe kuwo omabini amaqela.
Ngapha koko, imvakalelo inokubakho ngqiqweni, kodwa eyona nto inovelwano, ngaphandle kokutyibilika iimvakalelo zecala lesibini, ngengozi zinokufudumele iimvakalelo ezingenantlonelo, emva koko inguqu kwinto enkulu iyakukhawulezisa.
Ungahlula njani kwezinye iimvakalelo?
Ukwakha ubudlelwane obulungileyo kubaluleke kakhulu ukuqonda ukuba ingaba malunga nemfano yothando, okanye izenzo zomrhanelwa ngovelwano ngenxa yakho ngenxa yokukhuthaza. Yazisa nabani na-oko akuthethi, nyani, ndiyayithanda, kuba siza kuzama ukuqonda ukuba zeziphi izinto ezibonakala kuzo iindawo ezahlukeneyo.
Ngumahluko obalulekileyo obalulekileyo phakathi kovelwano nothando okanye uthando. Uvelwano lunokunciphisa umda "ochuliweyo kwaye udidekile", apha umntu akalindeli impendulo eqaqambileyo, engakhanga izicwangciso ezihlanganisiweyo, kodwa uyakuvuyela ukuba nawe ngokulandelayo, kodwa ivolumu yangoku yanele.
Uthando yimvakalelo eyahlukileyo ngokupheleleyo, kwiimfuno ezinzima kuphuhliso lobudlelwane. Indoda enovelwano iya kuthi ithethe kwiqhinga, iya kunceda kwiqhina, mhlawumbi baya kumenyelwa kwenye indawo, kodwa kuya kuba kukubonakalisa i-EPODODICIC ezingenamsebenzi. Ngaba wayeya kuthi, enothando, ngewayengenamanyathelo rhoqo, ndingazama ukuzibonakalisa ngelona cala liphezulu, ndiza kwenza ukugxininisa ukunceda, bonisa ukuba iya kukhuseleka kwaye ikhuseleke.
Ngokufanayo ngokwemigaqo ngokubanzi ikwakhathazekile ngabafazi- ayidingi mngeni omnye wokuqonda uthando okanye uvelwano, kodwa ukunyamekela inkozo yendoda ayinakujongwa nje ngovelwano nje.
Amantombazana kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba akwazi ukwahlula uvelwano kunye nembeko, kuba amanenekazi namhlanje ayikangakanga kangako, kunye nesiko eliqhelekileyo lokuthandana kulo naliphi na inale kwilizwe lethu. Apha kuya kufuneka ubambe isizathu sokuba umntu aziphathe ngale ndlela: ukuba unika ngokuzenzekelayo isandla sakhe kwaye yonke into ayiphathayo, nokuba yintombazana ethile, ibeka naziphi na iimvakalelo phakathi kwabanye. I-Concessism egxininise ngokuzenzekelayo idla ngokuthetha ngokukhuselekileyo, kwaye akukho nto ibaluleke kakhulu ubuhlobo onokuthi unikezwe. Ukuba uthandabuza, le nenekazi eliselula linokuhlala livumela inkanuko engaphantsi kwayo, ibonisa enye yeempawu ezicacileyo zovelwano - ukuba kuyaqhubeka nawuphi na umntu oza kuqhubeka eqaliswa yedwa.
Ngaba kunokwenzeka ukuba ususwe?
Uvelwano olungafanelekanga, ngakumbi ukuba kusenokwenzeka ukuba waguqukanga waba yinto engaphezulu, imvakalelo eyahlukileyo ayisekho-ngokuchaseneyo, izisa ezinye ii-chargrins kwaye zinokuphazamisa ityhefu eseburhulumenteni. Yinto enye, ukuba awukathanga nawaphi na amanyathelo, awazi nje ukuba ungafikeleli kwinto yokwamkelwa, kwaye ke ulahlekelwe yinto yokuba yonke into ayifanelekanga, kwaye yahluke ngokupheleleyo - ukuba ukungabi nako ukuphinda-phinda kuyabonakala. Nangona kunjalo, oochwephesha bengqondo nangona babekwimeko enjalo banika ingcebiso ngendlela yokuphelisa imeko engafunekiyo nomntu.
- Xa ungamboni akekho sengqondweni! Inkumbulo yethu ifutshane, sinemvelo ukuba semgangatho omkhulu kugxilwe kwinto efanelekileyo ngoku. Sukuyibona into yovelwano, okanye ukwenza oko kunokwenzeka kangangoko kunokwenzeka-kwaye ngokuhamba kwexesha, imvakalelo iya kusenza buthathaka.
- Ukuhombisa eyona nto ilungileyo. Uvelwano - imvakalelo yokungasebenzi, kuba enyanisweni kukho naziphi na izinto ezingalunganga. Uvelwano, sivala amehlo akho kwiimpawu ezingafunekiyo zento, kwaye endaweni yoko kufuneka ugxile kuzo! Kuya kunceda nokuzithemba kwakho, kuba ingcinga athi "ungandiboni, kuba kubi kakhulu" kudibana rhoqo kwaye kuthintela ukuba ungamthanda umntu.
- Thatha into. Khumbula: Ukwazisa ngovelwano kumntu yinkqubo yokucinga enokwenzeka kuphela xa ungaxakekanga kwanto. Kuyingxaki yokuzala kwaye ube lusizi ukuba uyalingana ngesisombululo salo nawuphi na umsebenzi onzima, kwaye ngokuchasene, ilali igubungela angenzi nto. Qalisa ukuziphucula-hayi ukuze ungenzi uvelwano, kodwa ungayicingi ngendlela yakho yendawo, kwaye ngokuhamba kwexesha uza kuyihlawula!
- Jonga ngeenxa zonke. Njengoko besitsho, indawo engcwele ayenzeki nto ingenanto, kwaye umntu ubonakalisa umntu wokuthemba umntu kunye novelwano. Ukuba indawo ebekwade yakwazi ukukhula eluthandweni, kuya kuba nzima ukuyilungisa, kodwa unokuhlala ukhetha umntu omtsha oya kuhlala unexabiso elibi kunangaphambili.
