Gutandukana byanze bikunze bizana impinduka mubuzima. Nyuma ye, byinshi muri enbodint isanzwe igomba guhinduka, kandi ntabwo ari ahantu hose. Akenshi, abagore bibaza niba ugomba gukomeza gushyikirana no kugerageza gushiraho ubucuti numugabo nyuma yo gutandukana. Niba kandi aribyo, uburyo bwo kubaka itumanaho, ntitukiri umugabo wawe n'umugore wawe? Kubijyanye nuburyo bwo gukomeza umubano mwiza nuwahoze mwashakanye nyuma yo gutandukana, kandi tuzabiganirwaho muriyi ngingo.
Ibyiza n'ibibi
Amarangamutima amaze kugabanuka, umururazi n'inzika byahagaritse kubabaza, abashakanye benshi badahenze bakemura itorero rya gicuti. Nibisanzwe rwose, kuko aba bantu bari baraziranye igihe kirekire. Ntabwo aribyiza kandi byiza mbere yiminsi irangiye. Nibyiza cyane kugira umuntu ukunda wizewe ushobora gutera no gufasha. Ariko ntabwo buri gihe kubafite umugabo n'umugore, bashoboye gukomeza kuba inshuti. Gutangirira hamwe, birakenewe kugirango birinde impaka zishyigikira ishyirwaho ry'ubucuti.
Igomba kandi kwitondera impamvu zishoboka kugirango ukomeze gushyikirana nuwahoze ari umugabo ntashobora gushya.
Reba impamvu ugikwiye gukomeza ubucuti nyuma yo gucika.
- Wari ufite umubano wizera, uzi byinshi kuri buriwese. Ndetse no mubukwe, mubihe nkibi, izindi nkunga nubufasha birashoboka.
- Abana ntibazacika hagati ya papa na mama. Kuri bo, uzahoraho iteka ababyeyi bashaka kumara umwanya. Uzarokora amahirwe yo kwidagadura hamwe nta kidukikije cyo kurwanya amarangamutima.
- Ntabwo byumvikana kwangiza umubano mwiza nababyeyi n'inshuti z'umugabo we. Gusuka hamwe na we, uzabura n'ubucuti nabakunzi be.
- Kuganira nanshuti kubashakanye bahoze rimwe na rimwe biganisha ku kuba ishyingiranwa rishobora kugarura.
Ariko, hariho impande zibi zo gushyikirana hafi nyuma yo gutandukana.
- Umuntu arashobora guhinduka kuburyo bugaragara, cyane cyane niba nyuma yo gutukwa bwanyuze mugihe kirekire. Iyo mico wakoresheje ntishobora kugaragara.
- Hamwe n'ibiruhuko bikomeye, kuvugana na Uwahoze ari mugenzi wawe birashobora gutera ububabare bukabije. Muri iki gihe, birakwiye umwanya wo gutegereza. Haba na gato bareka kugerageza kugarura umubano.
Intsinzi yo kubaka ubucuti nyuma yo gutandukana biterwa nibintu byinshi:
- Ihinduka ry'iki cyifuzo; ihindagurika ry'iki cyifuzo;
- impamvu zo kumena;
- Umubano ku bihe bya bene wabo n'inshuti;
- Kuboneka Abana n'imyumvire yabo yo gutandukana kw'ababyeyi;
- Amabwiriza mubuzima bwihariye bwa buri wese mubahoze.
Inama za psychologue kubagore
Abahanga mu by'imitekerereze yateguye ibibazo by'abakobwa n'abagore bazafasha niba atari yo gushiraho umubano, byibuze kutamenya uko ibintu bimeze "muri Bayomoni". Reka tubature.
- Tangira kuvuga nyuma yo gucana ntabwo byoroshye. Tekereza ku byiyumvo by'uwahoze ari umugabo wawe. Niba atariteguye gukomeza inshuti, ntukande kandi ntushyire hamwe nawe. Birashoboka ko bishoboka kugarura umubano nyuma yigihe runaka.
- Ntugomba kubaka umubano wawe mushya ugaragara kandi ukahamagara uwo bashakanye batandukanye.
- Gerageza kudahindura amarangamutima n'inzika kubana. Ntukabashyireho se, ntubahagarike ngo bashyireho. Ibinyuranye nibyo, kora byose kugirango umubano wabo utazangirika kandi ntuhagarike.
- Mugihe c'inama no gutumanaho, gerageza kwitwara nabi. Kureka inzika no gutukwa kera. Noneho ushyikirana muburyo bushya wenyine - nkabadamu beza.
- Kubaha, kwiyubaha bizafasha kubungabunga umubano mwiza. Fata ibintu bishya, inzira nshya yubuzima bwahoze ari umugabo.
- Kuraho icyifuzo cyo kugenzura umugabo batandukanije.
- Gerageza ako kanya nyuma yuko gutandukana bitavuga kenshi. Ibi birashobora gutuma umuntu adashaka. Gerageza kubona mu ruziga rw'inshuti kubw'ishyaka ryabandi bose, bitajyanye n'imibanire yawe yashize, impamvu.
- Rimwe na rimwe, abagabo bajya mu mayeri bakagerageza gushinga ubucuti n'umugore wahoze kugira ngo bagerageze kugarura ubukwe. Niba ubona ibimenyetso bisobanutse byintego nkibyo, ariko ubumwe bwo kuvugurura ubwawe ntabwo yiteguye, ntukurikize umuntu wizeye. Kumarane igisubizo cyawe nayashyire kuriyi ngingo.
- Witondere, ntutangire isura yawe. Gutandukana ni ibihe bitoroshye, ariko ntabwo ari iherezo ryubuzima. Gumana umugore wizeye.
- Ntugerageze ubifashijwemo nabana, inshuti cyangwa inshuti zisanzwe gushakishwa amakuru yubuzima bwuwambere. Ibyo atekereza byose bikwiranye, azabwira mu nama n'ibiganiro. Ubu afite uburenganzira ku mabanga bwite.
- Niba washoboye kubaka ubucuti nyuma yo gutandukana, ntukemure mu kwibuka. Vuga hamwe ningingo zigezweho, sangira ikintu gishya kandi gishimishije kibaho muriki gihe.
- Rimwe na rimwe, uwo mwashakanye yiteguye gukomeza gushyikirana, ariko biragoye kumva impinduka mubuzima bwawe bwite. Mu bihe nk'ibi, ntabwo ari ngombwa kumubabaza, tuvugana nkana umubano nundi mugabo.
Kugarura abashakanye
Hariho imanza mugihe, nyuma yo gutandukana, abahoze bashakanye bahunze. Akenshi, umubano winshuti kandi wizeye itumanaho mugihe cyo kuruhuka cyagize uruhare. Ariko abagore benshi barashobora gushidikanya niba bakwiriye kugaruka kumugabo.
Ibintu byinararibonye akenshi biha umwe mubafatanyabikorwa, bahindura imiterere yarwo.
Ntabwo buri gihe byoroshye kubaka ubumwe nyuma yibyo, nubwo haba hari icyifuzo cyuwahoze ari abashakanye. Hariho ibimenyetso bimwe byerekana ko umugabo ashaka kukugarura. Tuzabasesengura hepfo.
- Ashishikajwe cyane n'ubuzima bwawe, akomeza kubaza inshuti zawe cyangwa wowe ubwawe. Umuntu utagiteganya guhuza ubuzima bwe numugore, ntabwo arushimishije cyane kubisobanuro byimyidagaduro ye, kuba hariho umubano mushya cyangwa umwuga.
- Umugabo aragerageza kukubona bishoboka. Akenshi biragaragara neza kandi ari intangiriro nto.
- Wabonye ko isura ye yari nziza cyane, aza mu ishusho idasanzwe. Akenshi, abagabo mubihe nkibi barushaho kubaga kuruta mugihe cyubufatanye.
- Hariho ibimenyetso byo kurambagizanya: impano nto, gushima.
Gisesengura amahirwe yo kugarura ishyingiranwa ryanyu ndetse nubundi ubuzima hamwe, ariko ntukihute.
Niba umuntu akumva koko, arashobora gutegereza akaguha umwanya wicyemezo kiremwa, kidakwiye kwicuza amaherezo. Hano hari inama zimwe zizafasha gufata icyemezo cyiza.
- Ntukihutire kugenda. Kwagura igihe cyurukundo no kugenzura ibyiyumvo byawe.
- Imyitwarire yawe kuri mugenzi wawe, sangira ubunararibonye nibyiyumvo birimo.
- Ntucecekere ibirego, kuko icyuho cyawe nticyabaye gutya. Gusa ikiganiro nk'iki kigomba gukorwa utuje, byubaka, nta marangamutima, ibitutsi n'ibitutsi. Ibitekerezo bigomba gushyira mu gaciro kandi bivugwa.
- Tegura abana kubana. Subiza ibibazo byavutse kugirango bagaragaze kubera imyaka yabo.
- Menya neza ko imyandikire y'intego zawe. Ntukihatire kurwanya ibyo ushaka n'icyifuzo cyawe.
- Gerageza gufata icyemezo wenyine. Akenshi ababyeyi, abavandimwe cyangwa inshuti bagerageza kwivanga mubihe. Ariko hamwe numwanya wa gatatu, ntibashobora guhora bafite amakuru afatika, ndetse nibindi byinshi kuburyo badashobora kubona ibyiyumvo byawe nubunararibonye.
- Gerageza gusesengura hamwe namakosa yawe yo gushyingirwa, kora wenyine, umva ibirego byuwahoze ari umugabo. Amahirwe ya kabiri ntabwo buri gihe atangwa, kandi ni ibicucu kubitakaza kubera kunangira no kwiyemera.
- Ndundukira kubisubizo byiza. Kwihangana no gushyigikirana bizagufasha kwegera hamwe no gushyiraho ubuzima buhuriweho.
