Adilesi ya mkazi wake ndi mnzake wa wokwatirana ndi wosakhazikika. Sangokhala - mayendedwe omwe amakonda kwambiri azitsamba za wotsogolera, komanso mosavomerezeka, chifukwa, chifukwa chokonda (okhazikika), azimayi nthawi zambiri amasankha bwenzi la mwamuna wake. Atsogoleri pakati pa akazi okwatiwa, ndi omwe amagwira ntchito yantchito (mpaka 35% ya chuma chonse cha akazi), komanso chokwanira ndi ophunzitsira anzawo omwe ali ndi mwayi wofanana - mpaka 22%. Pankhaniyi, anthu atatu amabwera pamavuto - mwamuna ndi mnzake. Aliyense amataya zochuluka kuposa kupeza, koma zovutirapo, zoyipa, ananyengerera mwamuna wake, chifukwa cha iye akupereka kawiri. Munkhaniyi tikukambirana za zolakwazo ndi zifukwa zomwe zononera ndikuuzeni ngati nkotheka kukhululuka komanso momwe mungachitire, ngati zitachitika.
Zoyambitsa
Zimakhala zovuta kunena kuti munthu zikhala zovuta - kukhululukira mkazi amene wasintha, kapena kukhululuka mnzake. Zinali zofunikira kwambiri kuti ubwenzi wa amuna nthawi zonse amakhala wopambana kuposa wamkazi, ndipo kuperekedwa kwa bwenzi la munthu kungakhale chomvetsa chisoni kwambiri kuposa mkazi wachigololo. Dziko lapansi la mwamuna wake limagwera, chifukwa ali ndi chinyengo kuti azikhulupirira zambiri zomwe sizingakhalepo aliyense - ngakhale abwenzi kapena akazi kapena akazi kapena akazi.
Kwa mkazi wake, zinthu zitha kukhala zosiyana - Zonse zimatengera kuchuluka kwa malingaliro ake kwa ovomerezeka aumulungu ndi mnzake. Kwa bwenzi labwino, Chigololo Chambiri, mwina chimatha paubwenzi, ngakhale zili zaka zingati - .
Mnzanu wonyengedwa, pomwe ululu woyamba komanso mwadzidzidzi atazindikira pang'ono pang'ono, adzasanthula mwachidziwitso pazifukwa zomwe wake adaganiza zotere. Nthawi yomweyo, iye amangoima kwambiri mnzake - amamvetsetsa kuti pali zochitika zina pokana kugwiritsa ntchito mwina komanso osagwiritsa ntchito pamwamba pa mphamvu zamphongo. Koma sangamvetsetse chifukwa chake mnzake sanakumbukire ngongole yake pamaso pake.
Mkazi amene amasintha mwamuna wake ndi mnzake, kapena mtsikana yemwe wasintha mnyamatayo ndi mnzake komanso ngakhale mwadzidzidzi yemwe amasiya mnzakeyo kuchokera pa benchi kusukulu, ndi zenizeni. Ndipo mayi nthawi zonse amakhala ndi chifukwa chopita yovomerezeka.
Katswiri wazachikhalidwe ndi purezidenti wa mayanjano a akatswiri a zachiwerewere za ku Russia, Andrei Zaiitsev, yemwe, mwatsoka, adamwalira mu 2015. Anayesa kupeza zomveka zomwe zimakankha amuna ndi akazi kuti azisakhulupirika. Kafukufuku wambiri wa Social of Soumuological Stualoogical Stualoological Stualoological Schoalogical Schoological Schoological Of Ankakhala asonyeza kuti m'malingaliro awo, mpaka 59% ya oyimira zokongola zam'manja asinthe amuna awo. Mwakuchita, izi zimapangitsa pafupifupi 25% ya azimayi. Nthawi yomweyo, Chiwembu chochuluka kwambiri chimayika (80%), chomwe chimakhala chochepa kwambiri, cholumikizira nthawi yayitali ndi wokonda.
Chifukwa chiyani mnzake wa amuna anga? Chufukwa Zimachitika kawiri kawiri kuposa amuna ena kucheza ndi akazi osiyanasiyana, chifukwa ndiubwenzi wautali komanso wathanzi, anthu nthawi zambiri amakhala abwenzi " Chifukwa ali ndi vuto la mayi ndipo amakhala ndi zofala zambiri. Nthawi zina mkazi amalangizidwa ndi bwenzi labwino kwambiri la wokwatirana naye - choyambirira kugula mwamuna wake monga mphatso, kenako zovuta za mabanja, adafunsa khonsolo. Nthawi zambiri zokoka zimachitika mosiyanasiyana, sizinakonzeke - zovala zapamwamba, zidakhala zokhazokha m'mabanja ena ovuta kapena owopsa, etc.
Chifukwa chimodzi chimakhala - Mkazi ali ndi nthawi yambiri yaulere, ndipo ubalewo ndi mwamuna wake unayamba kuzimiririka, panali zosokoneza wina ndi mnzake, sizinalinso zonyansa, zakhuthula kwa zaka zapitazo. Ngati, nthawi yomweyo, comrade Muga ikanakhala yotsatira kuposa momwe inunso, makamaka popeza mwamunayo nthawi zonse, ndipo mnzakeyo amakhala wokonzeka kumvera mkazi, Makamaka ngati Iye amakonda.
Funso linanso ndichifukwa chake akazi abwenzi nthawi zonse amawoneka okongola kuposa awo? Ndikosavuta kufotokoza izi, nthawi zambiri - chifukwa chofuna kudziwa adrenaline, ngati wina, kupatula mnzanu wapamwamba, komanso mtundu wachilengedwe kwa amuna omwe ali ndi amuna ambiri omwe ali ndi akazi ambiri. Ziribe kanthu momwe timayankhulira za chikumbumtima ndi kuphatikizika kwa munthu padziko lapansi, zomwe zochita ndi zochita za anthu zimachitika nthawi zambiri pamalamulo akale padziko lapansi. Ndipo simudzachoka kulikonse.
Mwa mkazi kwa munthu wina, malinga ndi akatswiri azachipatala komanso akatswiri azamankhwala, pali zifukwa zina:
- kusakhutira ndi mtundu kapena kuchuluka kwa zogonana muukwati;
- Mweta wa wosefera - wobwezera kambiri ka mwamuna wake kuti azichita chimodzimodzi;
- kudzipereka, kuchuluka kwa kudzidalira;
- Kuperewera kwa zokonda zokonda, cholinga chodziwika ndi mnzake;
- Malingaliro enieni.
Dziwani kuti amakondana ndi mnzake wa mwamuna wake osati nthawi zambiri. Koma ngati izi zikuchitika, kenako kuti ziletse mkaziyo kuwonongeka kwa banja nthawi zambiri sakhozanso. Nthawi zina, azimayi omwe amamangiriridwa kwambiri pamtima mwanyumba amakhala ndi mlandu ndipo sanakonzekere kusudzulana.
Zowopsa zomwe mwamuna ayenera kulabadira ndizosiyanasiyana. Nthawi zambiri, azimayi amasintha amuna awo omwe adaphunzira maphunziro apamwamba kuposa akazi, azimayi omwe sawona mwamuna wake chifukwa cha kumvetsetsa kwawo Mkazi.
Kuopsa kwa chinyengo chotere kukuwonekeratu: mwa iye pamaso pa mlandu - dzanja kuti lipange. Munthawi yakukhudza mwamphamvu, munthu amatha kuthana ndi winayo, komanso ndi mkazi wake, omwe nthawi zambiri amachitika.
Zoyenera kuchita?
Lokwera kwa mwamunayo ndi ena ena onse a chiwerewere amadalira momwe nthawi yomwe akuperekera zokopera. Zowopsa kwambiri - mwamunayo anabwerera pasanafike ndipo anapeza mkazi wake ndi mnzake moyenera. Zili m'mikhalidwe yotere yomwe kupha kwa nthawi yayitali kumachitika nthawi zambiri.
Ngati nthawi yomweyo bambo adathana ndi chikhumbo chofuna kunyamula mipeni ndi nkhwangwa, ndiye kuti ayenera kusiya nyumbayo posachedwa kapena malo omwe adapeza okonda. Osanyoza, kapena kuyesa kumvetsetsa zomwe zikuchitika sizoyenera. Mulimonsemo, osati pano.
Ngati mwamunayo sananenere chiwembucho, koma zomwe zafika ndipo ndizothandiza ndipo zimatsimikiziridwa, koma zoneneratu za okonda zimakonda kwambiri. Mwamuna wonyengedwa, osalimbikitsidwa kuti akonzedwe nthawi yomweyo.
Mayankho ofunikira samavomerezedwa pa "mutu wotentha". Ndikwabwino kupita mthunzi kwakanthawi ndipo muchite modekha, yankhani mafunso anu onse. Mutha kukhala pa kanyumba, mu bwenzi lina, mwa nyumba ya kholo, mopambanitsa, ku hotelo. Masabata angapo ndiocheperako kuti sikuyenera kuchita zamkhutu.
Poyamba padzakhala kukana, kusafuna kutengera zenizeni ndi zomwe zili. Kenako gawo la ziwonetserozi liyamba - ndikofunikira kuthana ndi gawo ili. Lolani wina yemwe angayimitse ku zinthu zolakwika - m'bale, Comlade, woyandikana naye, mnzake pa ntchito.
Pokhapokha zitazindikira kuti zonse ndi zenizeni, kuti sikuti ndipo sizidzapita kulikonse, muyenera kusankha zochita chotsatira.
Anzanu ovuta amalangizidwa kuti akhululukire mkazi wake. Izi, kumvetsetsa amuna ambiri, sikuvomerezedwa. Koma padzakhala maupangiri ambiri pazomwe zimatha kuthana ndi bwenzi lakale lakale. Kaya izi ndi zomwe mukufuna kumva? Mwina ayi. Ngati mupita kwa katswiri wazamisala kapena psychotherapist - pamwambapa, muyenera kusankha nokha.
Yesetsani kuwotcha, onani zomwe aliyense wa omwe atenga nawo mbali. Gawani msonkhano kwa mkazi wanga - muyenera kulankhula, ngakhale banja lanu simukufunanso kupulumutsa. Kodi mumakumana ndi bwenzi? Mutha kusankha, koma sizokayikitsa kuti anganene china chake choyambirira, ambiri mwa omwe agwidwa Asoviets pomwe mayi uyu adadzisankhira yekha moyo wake womunzawo. Ngati kufunika kolankhula ndi mnzake wakale ndikuti, nenani, koma ayi, palibe chifukwa choyesa kumenya nkhondo kapena kuphedwa. Mawu okha chete, popanda milandu.
Ndikofunikira kuyesa kuyesanso limodzi ndi mkazi wanga, chifukwa chake zonse zidachitika. Ngati mwamunayo akanakhala mosagwirizana ndi zomwe anakomera Yejulter, ziyenera kukhala zowona mtima komanso momasuka. Kunyoza kapena kumenya mkazi - pansi pa ulemu wa mwamunayo weniweniwo, chifukwa chake sizoyenera kutsika kwa mtunda wa ngginal.
Pambuyo pokambirana koyamba, ziwoneka bwino ngati zili zoyenera kukhululuka mnzanuyo ndikusunga banja kapena likhala labwino kwa aliyense ngati awiriwo ngati awiriwo atavala.
Ndiyenera kukhululuka komanso momwe tingachitire?
Kodi ndingakhululukire mkazi wanu pamenepa? Angathe. Kodi ndizotheka kupulumutsa banja? Muthanso. Koma muyenera kumvetsetsa bwino ngati kuli kofunikira. Chowonadi ndi chakuti kungoti kulokha chilibe nthawi yomweyo, kupatulapo kamodzi, kumabwera pang'onopang'ono, kumafunikirabe "kukhalamo." Ngati mayi akana kukambirana, akufuna chisudzulo, simuyenera kuchititsidwa manyazi. Sikoyenera kumukakamiza kuti achititse manyazi ngati kukhululukidwa. Sambani m'mawondo a mkazi wotopa - kusamvana kwamalingaliro.
Ngati mkazi wapangidwa kuti apulumutse banjali, tengani nthawi yoganiza, musathamangira. Kuphatikiza pa ntchito yosasangalatsa komanso yolemera, mkaziyo ndi wofunikirabe kwa inu: Ndi munthu wabwino, mayi wabwino kwambiri, wogwira naye ntchito. Izi nthawi zina zimatha kukana chakukhosi. Ganizirani mfundo yoti iyemwini sangathe kutsutsa m'zochita. Kodi ali ndi ufulu wolakwitsa? Nanunso? Ngati ndinu munthu wanzeru ndikumvetsetsa kuti anthu onse ali ndi ufulu wolakwitsa, ndi nthawi yoyankha funsoli, ngati mumukhululuka.
Palibe amene ali mdziko lapansi wokakamizidwa kukumana ndi zomwe munthu akuyembekezera. Zomwe zidachitika zidachitika kale. Ndipo mutenge kapena ayi - lingaliro lanu lokha.
Amuna nthawi zambiri amadalira malingaliro aboma, ndipo kuposa oimira ofooka a jenda. Amakhala ndi nkhawa ndi zomwe anganene anzawo ndi mabwenzi, abale ndi oyandikana nawo, ngati munthu wachipasomtima wa okwatirana alipo kale. Ndipo akuyenera kunena kuti, Adzati - Pankinnik ndi kulondola pang'ono pang'ono, nthawi ina adatha kukhala ndi mkazi uyu. Ndikofunikira kuyankha moona mtima funso - Kodi mtengo kwambiri ndi chiyani: lingaliro la anthu kapena ubale ndi mkazi wina. Ngati wachiwiri, ndiye kuti simuyenera kuyang'ana ena.
Ngati chilichonse mkati chimatsutsa lingaliro kuti mupite kukagona limodzi ndi mkazi uyu pakama imodzi, ndiye kuti simuyenera kubwerera ku maubale. Ngati pali chidwi chosunga banja - chitani molimba mtima. Kukhululuka pamakhalidwe otere kumafunika kulimba mtima komanso kukhala kopatsa chidwi, kukonda banja lawo, kwa mkazi wake.
Kumbukirani kuti ndili ndi kamodzi, simuyenera kubwerera pamutuwu. Ndi bwenzi, mwina siziyenera kuphwanya nthawi, komanso ubale wabizinesi ngati anali. Koma mkazi wa mkazi wake, m'malo motsutsana, muyenera kukhala nawo. Ndipo onse pamodzi, limodzi pochititsa "ntchito pa zolakwa".
Ndikofunika kwambiri pagawo ili njira yomwe Abrahamu Harold Harow limakhalira - katswiri wazamisala waku America ndi woyambitsa sukulu yama psychology. Anamupangira kusinthanitsa lingaliro limodzi lolakwika pazinthu ziwiri zofunikira komanso zopanga. Njirayi imadziwika kuti ndi yothandiza, imagwiritsidwa ntchito kwambiri mu zama psychotherapy zotalitsa, kukhumudwitsidwa ndi zovuta zina zomwe ndizovuta kuti zikhale zovuta.
Momwe zimagwirira ntchito: M'mawa, mwamuna wake adakumbukira kusakondwa kwa mkazi wake wam'mawa, adamponya mawu okhumudwitsa. Pambuyo pa izi, ayenera kupanga zinthu ziwiri zenizeni, amathandizira mnazi pagalasi kuti asinthe woyambitsa pagalimotoyo ndi mfulu kwathunthu, komanso kupita kwa apongozi ake ndikumupatsa thandizo pa makoma m'malo osungira. Pazinthu zilizonse zoipa ziyenera kukhala chitsutso chabwino. Pang'onopang'ono, kukumbukira kosasangalatsa kumachotsedwa pamtima. Kuyiwalika kwambiri, mwachilengedwe, sikungagwire ntchito, koma kusokoneza mavuto awo ambiri kumathandiza.
Mkazi safunikira manyazi, amamuletsa, kuti aziwalamulira komanso kukayikira kwa wamkulu ku Chuma. Ku Resord - komanso njira yoyenera yothetsera banja. Yesani kumvetsetsa ndi kumulemekeza ngati munthu wanu, ngati mayi a ana anu.
Zingakhale zovuta kukhazikitsa ogonana achiwerewere - ndi kuphedwa kwa ngongole yaukwati, zovuta zaukadaulo zitha kuchitika. Ngati patatha miyezi isanu ndi umodzi pambuyo pa Chiwembucho, sichotheka kudzipatula pamoyo wapamtima ndi mkazi wake, ndikofunikira kutembenukira kwa psychotherapist - mayiko oterewa amasinthidwa ndi njira zina.
Pewani Mwezi
Ngati muli ndi mwayi wopeza mwayi wokhala ndi moyo komanso mkazi wokongola, komanso bwenzi labwino, musawasamalire ndikuyesa kusunga ubalewo pakati pa onse. Ndikofunikira kuyambira pachiyambi posankha malire ovomerezeka abwenzi ndi okwatirana - misonkhano yawo popanda kukhalapo kwanu, osafunikira aliyense. Ngati, inde, mwafika kuchipatala, ndipo onse awiri anabwera kudzacheza wodwalayo, ndiye kuti izi zikufotokozedwa.
Yesetsani kukhala pafupi ndi mnzanu, nthawi zonse muzisamala kuti aziona mikangano ku mnzanga wapamtima, "amafunsa" kwa iye. Ngati mkazi akumva kuthandizidwa ndi mwamuna wake, sawayatsa mnzake. Inde, abweretse nayenso adzazindikira msanga kuti gawo lino ndi "Taboo" kwa iye.
Sankhani mavuto anu ndi mkazi wanu, osati ndi bwenzi, musawerengere iye kuti abwerere ndi mnzake. Mu mikangano ndibwino kuthana naye, mverani ndipo musasiye kukambirana, apo ayi mupeza "makutu aulere" pamaso pa bwenzi lanu lapamtima.
Khalani maso pa tchuthi cholumikizira, makamaka ngati adutsa kumbuyo kapena mwachilengedwe ndi chidakhwa ndi chidakwa. Musalimbane ndi mkazi wanga atamwa mowa wambiri, musasiye ndekha kwa nthawi yayitali, musapweteke, makamaka ndi abwenzi, kuti musapange nthaka kuti imufotokozere kumvera chisoni. Pa dothi labwino, mbewu za Adiilter zimakula msanga.
Yesetsani kudalira zonse, ndikuwonetsa izi - ndikofunikira kuti mnzake alowa m'banja lanu, ndipo wokwatirana nayeyo adadziona kuti ali ndi udindo wokhulupirira.
Pazifukwa zomwe zimapangitsa munthu wachisewe wa mkazi wake ndi mnzake wa mwamuna wake, onani kanema wotsatira.