Some women do not quite objectively evaluate their own qualities and abilities, their significance. This happens when the sense of self-esteem is reduced.
Signs of low self-esteem
In psychology, self-esteem is called broadcasting in the surrounding world of a set of beliefs about themselves. Some women have an affected opinion about their external data, mental abilities, various actions. Low self-esteem can be determined by the nature and behavior of the woman. Experts allocate the following signs of a reduced perception of their own person:
- excessive criticality to its appearance;
- Inability to take responsibility for yourself;
- dissatisfaction with their surroundings;
- constant role of the victim;
- Fear before making a decision;
- inability to make an adequate choice;
- inability to take male attention and extraneous assistance;
- fear of communication with men;
- Inability to quietly take gifts and compliments;
- consent to relations with any man, the first of the representatives of the strong sex, who offered them;
- reliability, fear is inappropriate to scare the partner;
- pity for yourself, the feeling of selflessness;
- painful perception of criticism and opinions of others;
- Attitude towards yourself as an unfortunate person;
- the ability to see solid competitors in other women;
- Inability to say about your desires, and often a complete refusal of them;
- fear dream, plan and set goals;
- passivity, addiction and suggestibility;
- The feeling of loneliness.
Causes of bad self-perception
The reason may be jam In his own childhood. Some mothers excessively control and take their children. Sometimes parents can not give a lot of love of their own chad. The baby is offended, belong to him without proper respect, thereby depreciate his thoughts and feelings. The child lacks support, praise, so in adulthood there may be a resentment for mother and father. Childhood you need to be able to leave in the past.
Live a real day. Do not copy children's resentment and do not ladt bitterness memories. Inappropriate in all its failures to blame parents for their methods of upbringing. Did they teach them the right pedagogical techniques? They could not know how to act in order not to harm your psyche. It is time for you to take responsibility for your happiness in your own hands.
Enough influence enormous influence on the formation of perception itself. She often takes his origin in early childhood. At first they envied the neighboring child because of his unusual toys, then he had envy to excellent girlfriend marks and, finally, to a steep car colleagues. And the envy is a destructive feeling. It is strongly reflected on self-esteem, significantly lowering it.
Equally important is it Experience relationship with the opposite sex. Some other times, instead of a loving and caring partner, a person who humiliates and insults his soul mate is provided. And the lady is ready to endure his antics and deceased to demolish mental pain. In this case Do not be afraid to change the situation in any way.
Sometimes self-esteem is catastrophically reduced in women who have reached 40 years. The fear appears to look in the eyes of a man with an aging and less attractive lady. Especially often it happens if it feels the neat mind to her husband. A woman understands that the disorder is brewing in the relationship. The people there are a saying: "Sedna in a beard - the demon in the rib." Middle-aged men's crisis can influence the decline in the estimation of his life companions itself. After parting with her husband, she begins to worry strongly, complex, comes frustrated in itself.
Some women strongly depend on public opinion. Society It imposes their standards of beauty and success. The girl begins to torment because of his appearance and events taking place in her life. There is uncertainty in their own forces, dislike for themselves. The soul gradually empties. This invariably leads to melancholic mood and depression. Anxious girl is difficult to achieve high self-esteem. It constantly looks tracks in the environment negative events and information, worrying due to a hypothetical threat and danger. The opinion and assessment of an outsider often plays a decisive role for it.
Often, the poor perception of his own person leads a negative experience. Woman after divorce loses self-confidence. She begins to engage in self-confidence, trying to understand that it is not so. The lady fantasies that it could be if she did in different way.
The infinite thoughts that something wrong in her relationship was wrong, they do not give an abandoned woman to live in full force.
Solution
Very important point is Eradication of dependence on someone else's opinion. We need to mentally fight with non-constructive criticism at your address. It is necessary to immediately erase it from memory and in no case should not be looped on it. The statements of people are their subjective opinions. In these estimates, there are guesses and projections.
But constructive criticism should not hurt you, as it encompasses the deep knowledge of the subject and impartiality. Such opinions should be served. Indeed, it often happens to hear valuable statements, but they allow the lady to change something in their actions and become more confident.
Insufficient respect for oneself impedes success in any industry. Lady is ready to get a low-paid job. Fear not to cope leads her to the abandonment of the lifting on the career ladder. She is afraid of expressing his opinion once again. Hides its true tastes and beliefs. Women who are not able to adequately evaluate themselves are rarely happy in family life.
Fix your own uncertainty is very difficult. To combat it, experts recommend constantly seeking confirmation that you are beautiful, smart and talented. Try to remember happy moments when someone told you that you are miles or beautiful. Maybe such words you had to hear in childhood from a loving grandmother, father, classmate or a neighbor boy. Find confirmation by these phrases now in meaningful views of passersby, the courtesy of colleagues and personal contacts with loved ones.
Psychologists believe that Raise self-confidence. The girl is capable of shifting his focus of his attention. She follows Decompose negative allegations and exalt positive moments. Increase self-esteem Woman can help Work on your appearance. Women's self-sufficiency is based on attention, love and respect for others, care for other people.
This is not a congenital personality property. It must be developed.
To solve the existing problem of reduced self-esteem, it is necessary to take a number of actions.
Change of environment
The cereal places of the type of night entertainment and bars do not contribute to the increase in self-esteem, because there is a chant time with personalities accustomed to debauchery, Azart and violence. You need to look for a positive society. Among familiar, healthy arguing and moving towards a successful life, it is impossible to remain self-respecting man. You can meet such people in sports sections, museums, theaters, on thematic lectures, concerts and other cultural institutions.
Individuals possessing low self-esteem often try to increase it by humiliation and insulting another person. This is their protective reaction. There is no place for such types in your surroundings. Look for people who love their business.
Spiritual and moral development
It is necessary to reconsider their views, correctly arrange priorities, determine clear goals. As spirituality and morality grows, life is gradually changing, because it comes to the correct understanding of many things and there is a revision of some vital positions.
An important point is to increase self-esteem. You need to learn to respect yourself. A girl having a healthy self-esteem always refers to respect for himself and other people. Start showing care for parents, husband, children, girlfriends, friends. Fill their life with happiness and love.
Unfortunately develops spiritually, because respect for itself appears and satisfaction is born with their actions.
Sales of female nature
A lady, endowed with kindness, chastity, carefulness, once to fall into Melancholy and depression. Respect for the strong floor, pure thoughts contribute to the onset of complete satisfaction and female happiness. Apply your modesty and shyness to the measure. Do not completely stroke these natural features. Learn to use them correctly. The male is quickly losing interest in the union and shameless ladies. Modesty adorns the girl.
In relations with men, you must always install clear boundaries. Imceitivity should be alternating with rigor. The arrogant behavior of a man must push the young lady to the observance of a certain distance.
Develop the ability of an understanding where it is worth showing its innate shyness, and where it should not be done.
Search for purpose
Each woman is obliged to realize his own destination. In this situation, self-esteem is automatically normalized. Choose a specialty in the shower. If it is impossible to determine the sphere that is your life mission, you need to urgently work in search of talents in yourself. First you need to answer the question, do you like what you do. Do you experience satisfaction from your activities? Does she benefit the Environment and People? Then think if you find time for your hobbies and your favorite things. Often they are the purpose of man.
Detach your hobby more time . Look for your own strengths. Take time to dreams. Get rid of korear, greed, envy and fear. Learn to do good, but do not report it to everyone in a row.
Thank God for the opportunity to help other people, since these actions purify you from negative qualities.
Tips for psychologist
Love yourself, your own character and your own appearance. This means the ability to live in harmony with itself, to understand your own ego. The ladies are often unhappy with their appearance. It is not necessary to engage in self-defense and self-name. Some girls feel clumsy, others do not like their own eyes, lips, cheeks, figure. To correct its lack of ladies with underestimated self-esteem, the health of the exhausting diets or plastic operations is dangerous. Only a self-sufficient woman is able to understand that the body and appearance, bestowed by nature, are a special value.
We must take care of yourself and be able to use the genetically laid by the Constitution and the appearance. It is stupid and meaningless to bring artificial beauty. Better pay attention to your inner world, look for positive features, develop them. Remember: Self-development gives the girl an attraction in the eyes of others regardless of appearance.
It is necessary to adhere to some rules. Never needs to be justified in front of others for their actions. Stop to criticize yourself and condemn, learn to think about yourself in a positive way. Attempts to please others lead to a decrease in self-esteem. But do not try to emphasize your superiority over people. Such qualities are not inherent in self-sufficient people.
Psychologists are not recommended to follow the successes of others and all the more should not be chased. In the world many personalities that are lucky to you. The desire to keep up with more successful people reduces your assessment in your own eyes. Learn to raise yourself a mood. There is no little things in life, so each event leaves a certain trace in the soul.
The desire for pure harmonious life brings happiness to the ladies and increases the mood. Filter the negative statements of foreign people to your address - it is impossible to please all. In no case do not scold yourself for the shortcomings and fail, since any error is another step towards perfection.
It's never too late to start working on yourself. It is necessary to constantly engage in self-development, reading fiction. It is necessary to communicate with interesting people, adopt their experience. Psychologists recommend doing the following exercises.
- Do yourself compliment yourself regularly. Pronounce them out loud. For example: "How I look gorgeous today!", "What a delicious soup turned out! I am an excellent hostess! "
- Make a list out of 50 of their positive qualities . Mentally repeat them.
- Try to make affirmations Type "I like my appearance", "I am enjoying surrounding people", "friends and relatives adore me," "I am a good and friendly man."
- Drive your personal diary . Fix in it all your even very minor achievements. Perform this exercise must be fully formed habits to notice and appreciate any good luck, new opportunities and minor victories.
- The following exercise is called "Double". Imagine a well-known personality, such as singer or TV presenter. Communicate with others, imagining, as if you are not talking you at the moment, and your mouth is broadcasting the idol of millions of viewers.
- Remember that your appearance is estimated only for a few seconds. Wait for their end and easily join the dialogue.
If you could not solve the problem yourself, contact a specialist for advice. Psychotherapist will help to figure out how your installation and thinking work. He will find the right approach to solving problems.
About how a woman to raise his own self-esteem will tell the following video.