It happens that man does not appreciate himself. So he tries to prove to himself that his mind and efforts do not mean anything for others. Such negative moments in the character are manifested against the background of low self-esteem. Since low self-esteem is very badly affected by the quality of life, therefore it is necessary to get rid of it all available in ways. Consider details the signs and causes of low self-esteem.
What it is?
In psychology it is customary to reason as a personality represents its importance in society, such a self-esteem. Some it is too overestimated, and others are very understated. It should be noted that a self-sufficient person has an adequate self-esteem. The reduced self-esteem depends primarily on how much we are confident and with what seriousness we treat someone else's opinion. For example, if an individual does not have certain knowledge, it may feel some kind of relationship from society. This develops uncertainty in their forces. And it also depends on how our appearance looks like, what skills we possess. For example, an employee who cannot qualitatively perform work will be afraid that it can be dismissed at any time. Fear will cause an understated assessment of his "I".
Material well-being plays a big role in this matter. However, it does not contribute to adequate self-esteem. Experts argue that in most cases secured people have a low self-esteem. And this statement has evidence . No wonder some of those who boast a tight wallet, compete with each other, for example, buy the most expensive yacht or house.
Impaired self-esteem is the Beach of our society. Many people suffer from this problem, including even those who have rather attractive appearance and good personal qualities. Therefore, it is so important to identify the problem in time.
If you notice the following moments, it is worth thinking:
- You justify the negative actions of other people in your address and accuse you to do it with you exactly, and not otherwise;
- If you avoid conflicts with all ways, then you feel your uncertainty; These actions lead to a bad attitude towards themselves.
In addition, a reduced self-esteem has such external signs as:
- You have a dressed and frightened look, you try not to meet with our eyes with other people;
- In your speech there are such expressions: "Not sure", "not ready" and so on.
You need to make a correction in your behavior. . It should also be noted that people with understated self-esteem can behave quite aggressively and hostile towards others. They tend to humiliate and insult other people whom they consider lower in rank. Usually they look intently, carefully learn their interlocutor. In addition, such people squeeze fists when walking or use offensive gestures.
Remember that thanks to such a description, any of us can identify the insecure in itself.
Causes
By and large, all the problems that a person has with character, come from distant childhood. As a child, the individual begins to take on all the strikes that occur due to several points.Education in the family
When the parents in the family dwell their inconsistency on the child, then he begins to suffer and fall into depression. Parents often look at the television screen, say: "Look, what a beautiful boy (or girl) stands! He knows how to play a violin and learns, probably good. Not that you are: dweller and composite. " At this point in the soul of a child, which is on the other side of the TV screen, raging the storm of emotions. First of all, he is insulting that his parents look at the children with admiration, and they do not appreciate it. Little man really wants to take the place of the child, whom his parents praised.
However, he understands that he will not be able to take such heights. As a result, an offended boy (or girl) begins to scold himself for not knowing how to play violin and its (her) appearance does not reach certain parameters. Self-destruction gradually enters the habit. This is the formation of character.
A person since childhood gets used to the idea that he cannot claim a high level in society.
Failures in childhood
In continuation of the higher item, it should be noted that A child who is disliked in the family suffers and then when he has to fulfill his small duties related to study. Insecurity does not allow such a child to fully develop and strive for something, as he has, by and large, there is no real support from loved ones. If the student gets a bad assessment, he knows in advance that he will scold at home. Parents who care about the mental state of their chad, try to support them with failures. For example, hire tutors in order to increase their level of knowledge.
In the family, where parents are consumer to the child, it's all the opposite. Upon receipt of the unsatisfactory mark, it is put in the corner and make it go to "excellent." However, any sensible person should understand: before you get something, you need to make some efforts, and with the help of violence it is impossible to achieve anything.
Social environment
This factor is of great importance. Whatever a person was, a society has a very strong effect on him in any case. People with whom we communicate or just spend time, definitely form our attitude towards ourselves. For example, the child spends most of the time in the family and at school. If the family develops an unfavorable situation, the school may soften the adverse factors of family education, and, on the contrary, the family can protect the child from too obsessive teachers.
The same can be said about adults. If a long time a person is among the personalities that inspire and strengthen his faith in itself, the self-esteem is growing. If a person spends time not with whom I would like, then it is different. For example, there are people who are annoyed all the time and blame. Bad dependence on such a society will inevitably lead to a fall in self-assessment.
Therefore, any person, regardless of age, it is important to be in the environment where he feels security and confidence in his abilities. This will help him reveal his potential and be satisfied with life.
Health problems and external defects
Where does a person come from low self-esteem? Definitely because of the problems that either arose for a very long time or recently. The most painful problems are problems associated with deterioration of health. Even greater dissatisfaction with itself, and it means that the decrease in self-esteem cause problems associated with flaws in appearance.
If a person feels not like that, his self-esteem falls. For example, the individual for any reason has lost his legs for any reason. It can only move with special devices. It is very important that people who support him morally and physically in a difficult moment would be located and sent it to the path that would help rapid rehabilitation. If there is no support nearby, then a person begins to experience difficulties. Over time, he falls into depression, all the time thinks about his inferiority.
At that moment it is important to find the right people who would help disabled themselves from a difficult life situation.
However, it happens that the special considers himself just ugly. Especially such thoughts visit adolescents and people in young age. They begin to inspire that their appearance leaves much to be desired. Some of them are closed and stop communicating with people. As a result, angry appears, and then low self-esteem. Some of these people are looking for a way out. And even find it. No wonder we can often meet in the Street of Cudakov, who deactivate their appearance with tattoos or make unimaginable hairstyles on the head.
Of course, such actions are also wrong. Unusual appearance attracts condemning views of others. If a person already has consciousness with a reduced self-esteem, then the condemnation of others may introduce it to an even greater depression. As a result, the circle closes and the hopeless situation is obtained. However, you need to remember that There is always a way out. The main thing is to want to find it.
First of all, you need to stop paying attention to the opinion of passersby and rely only at your prudence. It will help you find people who will understand you and will take the same as you really are.
Signs
A man with reduced self-esteem always distinguishes manner of behavior and unsure. There is still an insecure behavior of any closed pose, with which a person is trying to protect itself from the external manifestations of society. For example, hitting the room where many strangers are present, the man's unsure of itself presses his chest bag or briefcase with both hands. Such a closed pose says that a person is not ready to communicate and fear around people.
This happens because the insecure personality is trying to understand the mood of the crowd. There is some comparison of yourself with those who are "on the other side." A person is afraid that his appearance may not correspond to generally accepted characteristics. If you take a self-confident personality, then everything will happen here anyway. A man who "knows himself", always leads himself quite confidently. He speaks loudly and clearly answers the questions of his opponents. It can immediately be allocated from the crowd on bold behavior.
Sometimes reduced self-esteem develops into an obsessive state. To understand that the individual has symptoms of reduced self-esteem quite simple, namely:
- A person considers himself powerless, so his behavior causes a feeling of pity;
- understated self-esteem leads to the fact that a person ceases to respect himself, after which the surrounding begin to treat him as well;
- a person pursues fear of being rejected, so he tries to do not communicate with anyone and does not start new acquaintances;
- The painful perception of any criticism is another sign of insecurity, a normal person takes criticism adequately; If he really has negative factors in the behavior, he tries to eliminate them if he is subjected to unjustified criticism, it tries to prove that the accusations of his address are bothering;
- A certain fear causes the insecure in itself to postpone cases in the "Long Box", a person is simply afraid to begin his duties and because of this hesitates with the start of activity;
- In an uncertain man often trembling his arms and legs, if he is going to solve the meaningful problem.
What is dangerous?
Improved self-esteem is quite dangerous for any personality. Nowadays, this topic is popular. So she interests many. All this is due to the fact that Insecurity in their abilities can lead to irreversible consequences. The weak spirit is particularly susceptible to people, so they are in constant depression. Such individuals forget about their significant advantages, and cultivate only their minuses.
Unlike people with a weak character, harmonious personalities know their strengths and try to develop them.
So, it becomes clear that self-esteem must be lifted, otherwise you can come across the following problems:
- Low self-esteem Never does not bring true happiness The sense of inferiority will always interfere; As soon as you want to take something, this factor will stand on the implementation of the implementation, you can miss the chance and opportunities, the pain from the loss will be very strong;
- A man with an uncertain character will never truly love and respect people; Negative feeling does not allow full-fledged communication with them, so it will be rejected as soon as he tries to take the first step;
- A man with low self-esteem can make the wrong choice of life satellite, Because of the negative factor in the nature of the individual, all the time underestimates itself and overestimates other people, so it will be criticized all the time and gradually fall into depression;
- Low self-esteem leads to dissatisfaction with life in general , the person blames in his failures of all the people around; These actions often lead to bite and even to pathology;
- Closed - this is another bad feature in the character, which manifests itself with underestimated self-esteem; Such a factor exposes a person full self-insulation;
- A man with underestimated self-esteem is inclined to endure failures; He ceases to follow his health and appearance, which does not affect future life; Such manifestations can lead to full renunciation from themselves and even to death.
What to do?
If your self-esteem fell, then you should not lower your hands. Improving the level of self-esteem will take some time and takes a large number of soul forces, but it is worth it.
If you have already decided to embark on the lifting of self-esteem, then you made the most important first step towards success.
So, consider what you need to do next.
- Get rid of the past . Perhaps it was how it affected you. Therefore, on the advice of psychologists, review your social circle. Leave in it only successful and positive people, and from friendship with the rest you should refuse. If you feel that you have problems resulting from your professional activity, then change it. That work that causes only negative emotions should not be present in your life. Otherwise, you will be waiting for even greater disappointment and aggravation of a difficult situation.
- Try to treat yourself with respect. Do not allow people to humiliate and insult you. If you take place in your direction, give a decent fire. It is difficult, but perhaps.
- Do not evaluate your appearance and activities only with a negative side. Do not compare yourself with bankers and actors. Remember that every person has their own personal problems, and beautiful pictures skillfully hide them. Therefore, live your life and do not think about others.
- Affirmations are very well helped to fix the situation . Come up with an affirmative phrase (remember that the phrase affirmations should be only an affirmative character), for example, such: "I began (a) better and more successful." Pronounce it before bed with closed eyes as many times as you can. By the way, this method helps to quickly fall asleep. Thus, you get rid of not only from insomnia, but also raise self-esteem.
- If you have a problem, then you should not run away from it. Take all the will in the fist and try to solve it as quickly as possible. Perhaps you just screwed yourself and feared that you will not work. Once you see in the opposite, you will become much more confident in your abilities.
- Try to take part in the training in lifting self-esteem . Group classes make it possible to tune in to a positive. In addition, in such places you will meet like-minded people and, perhaps, your social circulation will expand.
- Reading various scientific literature helps a person to raise self-esteem. When he expands his horizons, it becomes interesting for society. In addition, with reading, you will strengthen the nervous system. And this will give you a impetus to a new development and confidence in your abilities.
- Sport classes - This is the most reliable way to get rid of uncertainty in your capabilities. On a run, you can get acquainted with other people who share your worldview. In addition, health promotion will give you the opportunity to resist with a huge force to negative factors.
- Try to keep the "Diary of Achievements". You can record all your actions that led to success. If you suffer from a bad mood, then reread it. So you make sure your capabilities can give you a chance to further advance in life.
- Do not blame yourself in failure. Why did you decide that they all happened in your fault. Life is a rather complicated thing. It can not be predicted in it in advance. And your errors are just your mistakes. Let the negative experience give you the opportunity to avoid mistakes in the future. Remember that negative experience is also the experience for which you must pay.
