Divorce inevitably brings changes to life. After him, much in the usual embodiment will have to change, and it is not anywhere. Often, women are wondering if you should continue to communicate and try to establish friendships with a man after parting. And if so, how to build communication, no longer your husband and wife? About how to keep good relations with a former spouse after a divorce, and will be discussed in this article.
Advantages and disadvantages
After the emotions were subsided, bitterness and resentment stopped tormenting, many unpaved couples are settling friendly communication. It is absolutely normal, because these people knew each other for a long time. It is not the best and most favorable scenario before the end of the days. It is much better to have a reliable loved one who can support and help. But not always to those who once had a husband and wife, manage to stay friends. To begin with, it is desirable to prevent the arguments in favor of the establishment of friendship.
It should also be borne in mind the reasons for which it is possible to resume communication with a former husband cannot be renewed.
Consider why it is still worth keeping friendship after breaking.
- You had close trust relationships, you know a lot about each other. Even out of marriage, under similar conditions, further support and mutual assistance is possible.
- Children will not break between the warring dad and mom. For them, you will forever remain the parents with whom they want to spend time. You will save the opportunity for a joint recreation without an anti-emotional environment.
- It makes no sense to spoil good relationships with parents and friends of her husband. Pouring with him all contacts, you will lose and friendship with his loved ones.
- Friendly chatting of former spouses sometimes leads to the fact that the marriage can restore.
However, there are both negative sides of close communication after parting.
- A person can change significantly, especially if after the rupture passed a long period. Those qualities you used can no longer manifest.
- With severe breaks, communication with a former partner can cause severe pain. In this case, it is worth the time to wait. Either at all abandon the attempts to restore the relationship.
The success of building friendship after a divorce depends on many factors:
- The mutations of this desire;
- reasons for breaking;
- Relationships towards the situation of relatives and friends;
- availability of children and their perception of parental divorce;
- Regulations in the personal life of each of the former spouses.
Tips for psychologists for women
Psychologists have developed several recommendations for girls and women who will help if not to establish relationships, at least not to perceive the situation "in the bayonies". Let us dwell on them.
- Start talking after breaking is often not so easy. Consider the feelings of your former husband. If he is not ready to stay friends, do not press him and do not impose contacts with you. It may be possible to restore the relationship after a certain time.
- You should not build your new relationships demonstratively and called the spouse with whom they broke up.
- Try not to shift your emotions and resentment for children. Do not configure them against your father, do not limit them to communicate with him. On the contrary, do everything so that their relationships will not deteriorate and not interrupted.
- During meetings and communication, try to behave restrained. Leave resentment and reproaches in the past. Now you communicate in a new quality for yourself - as good buddies.
- Mutual respect will help preserve good relationships. Take a new situation, a new way of life of a former husband.
- Get rid of the desire to control the man with whom they broke up.
- Try immediately after the divorce does not communicate too often. This can lead to unwanted disorders. Try to see in a circle of friends for any third-party, not related to your past relations, reasons.
- Sometimes men go to the tricks and try to establish friendships with the ex-wife in order to try to restore the marriage. If you see explicit signs of such intentions, but the renewal union yourself is not ready, do not apply a man of false hopes. Sorrect your solution with him and put on this point.
- Watch yourself, do not start your appearance. Divorce is a difficult period, but this is not the end of life. Stay confident woman.
- Do not try with the help of children, friends or common friends to explore the details of the personal life of the former man. Everything he considers fit, he will tell during meetings and conversations. He now has the right to personal secrets.
- If you managed to build friendship after a divorce, do not deepen in memories. Communicate with current topics, share something new and interesting things that happen at the moment.
- Sometimes the spouse is ready to continue to communicate, but he is hard to hear about changes in your personal life. In such a situation, it is not necessary to hurt him, deliberately telling about the relationship with another man.
Restoration of a couple
There are cases when, after divorce, former spouses converge. Often, such a friendly relationship and trusting communication in the break period contributed. But many women may doubt whether it is worth returning to a man.
A experienced situation often gives one of the partners, changes its character.
It is not always easy to build a union after that, even if there are a mutual desire for the former spouses. There are certain signs that a man wants to return you. We will analyze them below.
- He is too actively interested in your life, persistently asks your friends or you yourself. A person who no longer plans to associate his life with a woman, is not very interesting for the details of her pastime, the presence of new relations or career ups.
- The man is trying to see you as much as possible. Often it is clearly contrived and minor prepositions.
- You noticed that his appearance became much well-keeped, he comes in an atypical image for him. Often, men in such situations become much more nesting than during a collaboration in marriage.
- There were signs of courtship: small gifts, compliments.
Analyze the opportunity to restore your marriage and further life together, but do not hurry.
If a man really has feelings for you, he is able to wait and give you a time to a weighted decision, which will not have to regret in the end. Here are some tips that will help make the right decision.
- Do not rush to ride again. Extend the romantic period and check your sensations.
- Once your attitude towards each other, share the experiences and feelings that are currently experiencing.
- Do not silence mutual claims, because your gap has happened not just like that. Only such a conversation should be done calmly, constructively, without emotions, insults and reproaches. Comments must be reasonable and argued.
- Prepare children to live together again. Answer questions that have arisen so that they are clear due to their age.
- Make sure the reciprocity of your intentions. Do not forced yourself against your will and desire.
- Try to make a decision yourself. Often parents, relatives or friends are trying to intervene in the situation. But with a third-party position, they can not always have objective information, and even more so they can not experience your personal feelings and experiences.
- Try to analyze and your marriage mistakes, work on yourself, listen to the claims of the former husband. The second chance is not always given, and it is silly to lose it because of his stubbornness and pride.
- Tune in to a positive outcome. Patience and mutual support will help you get close to get together and establish a joint life.
