If two people are placed in the same conditions of existence, give them equal opportunities, their lives will certainly be in different ways. All business B. Priorities - Everyone they will have their own in any case. As life priorities affect our fate, how to determine them and put it optimally, this article will tell.
Definition of concept
Self The concept of "priority" has widespread use. - In jurisprudence, business, management. But the most large-scale idea about him was the psychologists. Under this definition, a part of life is meant, its component, which has primary importance to a certain person. We have the same life - work, communication with loved ones, family, creativity, etc. But the attitude towards them is not the same . This means that two works like each other in varying degrees will appreciate their work in varying degrees, and two caring mothers-housewives at different places put their attitude towards the family and children.
A person makes his choice, puts priorities. Some experts believe that he does it subconsciously, focusing on personal predispositions, family education, examples of others. But Prioritization - more complex process than it may seem at first glance. And this life priorities differ from similar in time management or legal sphere.
Priorities are needed to us as landmarks. It is in accordance with them we build our lives. They are invaluable resources, energy sources and personal power. Understanding this, a person can consciously direct more energy into a certain, important sphere of life for him.
The attachment will pay off with more than - this priority sphere will soon become the basis of its motivation.
What are there?
The main life priorities have long been known.
- A family - Parents, children, spouses, personal relationship with loved ones and favorite people.
- Profession and work - Implementation of yourself as a specialist, employee, career, achievements, income.
- Education - The educational institutions must be attributed here, and the personal self-development of a person must be attributed, because the process of comprehending new knowledge accompanies us all his life.
- Hobbies - Our hobbies, hobbies, interests, often different from professional activities.
- Health status - An important sphere, without which the rest often turns out to be deprived of meaning. The attitude to his health is largely characterized by a person as a whole.
- Communication and social interaction - Our friends, employees, like-minded people and allies.
- Image - The image that we create, appearance, style, impression.
Not all of these areas can be attributed to the category of unconditional values, but it is unlikely who will argue that Each of them matters and anyway affects the rest. If we are sick, it is unlikely that we will be successful in work and social cooperation. If we look bad, do not care about yourself, believing that "the image is nothing," will hardly be happy in their personal life. If the spheres of the hobbies and family are "seated", then the person becomes a workaholic, and all other priorities are blocked for him. The harmonious and reasonable distribution of priorities will live with pleasure and satisfaction, be happy.
What affects them?
On how a person will put up its priorities, many factors affect.
- Age - Young people experience other needs than mature or elderly, and therefore their priorities are usually distributed with the predominance of training, careers, social contacts and communication. Older people more appreciate health and families. With age, the values change several times, something is achieved, something loses with the relevance, something comes out in the first place. This is a normal and natural process.
- Life circumstances - Important events that change the system of values of a separate person. The baby was born - and now the young parents have changed the priority, the family and care for the offspring came out, although even recently they sought career and learning. But the way out of the decree for mom is the period of the next changes, the issues of work are again returning to the rank of meaningful, even if not the main ones.
- The emergence of problems, testing - Sometimes the sphere is almost not significant for us until problems arise in it. The divorce or loss of your loved one makes us reconsider the value of the family, the development of the disease takes "to the leaders" the sphere of health. This change of priorities is tougher, almost forced.
- Personal features - This includes the nature and temperament of a person who received by their life experience, an example of parents, upbringing. In the same circumstances, people take different decisions, and this is the effect of unconscious.
Priorities are thus not a monolithic, static system, unshakable throughout life. Lower them once and will not work forever. They will dynamically change, move along the degree of importance with age and in the course of events. Changes will be short-lived and superficial, and sometimes depth and long-term. Then you ask why something to place something? Let all flow of gravity. But here it lies a common mistake.
Creating an optimal priority model, a person creates a "core", an inner rigid construction, which, despite the dynamism of the system, will be generally unchanged throughout life.
How to determine?
Everything is quite simple. Take a sheet of paper and write down in descending order the most significant lives for you . Look at the list. What will be in its upper part, and will be the main thing for you. What will be at the end may require correction, more close attention. Everyone does the choice itself, but the question arises - is it effective? Is a person satisfied with his priority arrangement or internally discomfort?
Suppose the first place was in the first place, and the family is only in the middle or end of the list. So people often have a sense of guilt in front of their relatives, it is gnawing them, but something is difficult to change. Or, let's say, at the beginning was the sector of communication. For specialists it is obvious that such a person addressed public opinion, has complexes and fears, needs support and help. Try to change the priorities in places, imagine how your life may change in connection with this. For example, shift the work on the second place, and on the first place the family. Will you be good and comfortable if from this day you will pay work for a couple of hours a day less, and for children or parents - for a couple of hours more?
Rate your list from the following statements.
- A person exists in order to constantly develop, evolve, do not stand still - is it possible to you with your system of values?
- The main thing is people, relatives and relatives. Is your system for them, is it useful for them?
Any internal discomfort, dissatisfaction with your life - a signal in order to revise your current system, change something in it . If priorities are placed harmoniously, a person gets the very completeness of life, which everyone likes to reason.
How to put it right?
Universal recipe, how to place values, in what order, no. All individually. But there is a general rule - the alignment is not at all like the one you use, determining the priority of certain affairs or tasks at work. Often psychologists recommend considering the individual value system and compare it with the following scheme according to the degree of importance.- God, spiritual, principles and beliefs.
- Your own "I", health.
- Relationships with relatives and loved ones, children.
- Work and professional implementation.
- All other spheres in convenient order - Hobbies, friends, image, etc.
There are several ways to put their own priorities.
Diary or memoir Arkhangelsk
The method described Gleb Arkhangelsky. Offered Take a notebook or notebook and keep a description of each of your day. Five minutes in the evening will be enough to make all the necessary information about what you spent today most of your time, forces, energy, funds. Determine the main event of the day. It is not necessary to be the successful completion of a difficult project at work. It can be a pleasant joint contemplation of snowfall on the way with a child to school or kindergarten, received a letter from an old comrade. The main thing is that the event, with the memories of which you relax, are smiling, exhaling lightweight . Sometimes the events of the day are negative, with your emotions are opposite, but always bright.
Opposite the recorded main event, indicate the sphere of life to which it is directly related. At the end of the week, choose from seven events the main event of the week, at the end of the month - the event of the month, at the end of the year - the event of the year.
Usually you do not have to wait for the year, by the end of the month, another person forms a completely clear and visual idea of what the sphere for him is the main one.
"Ambulance"
This method stems from the previous one. Having determined the main sphere, in the same way, determine the least priority directions. Throw them, think about what you lack so that they "rose" in your personal ranking above. Obviously, the sphere at the end of the list needs ambulance. Consciously give her at least half an hour of his everyday life. Gradually, the feeling of internal harmony will return, because the imbalance will be eliminated.Examples of prioritization in a person's life
The following examples are quite Conditional because they do not take into account the individual characteristics of a person. But first you can focus on them, and the understanding that you need it will come gradually.
For a man
It so happened that for men, professional implementation issues are always more significant than others. This is due to the peculiarities of gender psychology. The man is happy if he feels the winner, the conqueror, a hunter. The overwhelming majority of men has a list of priorities from work. This does not mean that all representatives of strong sex ignore other spheres of life. Averaged example may be such.
- Work and profession, money, income.
- Family and children, close, parents.
- Hobbies and communication.
- Image.
- Health.
Men prone to egoism Often on the second after work the place is hobbies, but those who Valid relations may even doubt what should be at the beginning - work or family. One is almost always invariably - Most men tend to underestimate their own health. This sphere goes to more significant positions only when serious illnesses occur. There is, on what to work.
For woman
Most women have other principles. Historically, evolution made them custodians of the hearth, and therefore there is nothing surprising that Ladies often put in first place in family and children. Only when harmony is missing in life, this sphere of woman is shifted below. An example - a woman has to "pull" the family, one to raise children. Even in this case, everything is done for the sake of family, and she is the main thing. But sometimes there is a replacement for the "male type" when work goes into priorities. But it is usually rare.
Women's priorities on average usually look like this.
- Family, close, children, relationships.
- Image.
- Health.
- Work, implementation in the profession, society.
- All the rest.
Significant deviations most often make women unhappy. If a workaholic man gets true pleasure from his professional achievements, which in general does not contradict his nature, then the workaholic woman internally suffers from a lack of a family, relationship, and the deeper it hides such thoughts, the more destructive for it may be consequences.
For a teenager
When a child goes into the category of adolescents, a priority arrangement is essential for him. Modern youth often suffers from the lack of clear goals at all because it does not know how to put them, but because it cannot decide what is more important. In general, age psychology dictates such averaged model.
- Relationships in society, communication.
- Image.
- Training and selection of professional landmarks.
- Hobby.
- Family and parents.
- Other values.
The disharmony in the value system in adolescence is quite dangerous, because it can have remote negative consequences - violations in the formation of self-assessment, erroneous solutions in the selection of university, profession, reconcalial early intimate relations, etc.
Tips of psychologists
Some parents believe that they can impose their own system of values. The effect of education, of course, is high, but not absolutely. In addition, parents' priorities may be uncomfortable and unpleasant for the child. Therefore, the best tactic is observation and positive attitude. Metaling and doubt cannot be avoided, through them every person passes. It is important that he lives his own life with his priorities, and the model not imposed on the outside, which will not make it happy.
If you are now in a state of reassessment of values, it is worth listening to the following recommendations of clinical psychologists.
- Listen to the inner voice, intuition, often it clearly refers to us in which areas are needed radical changes.
- Lay your priorities without regard to public opinion. It is only your life.
- More often ask yourself, do you like what you are doing at the moment. If not, it is worth reconsider the value of the sphere in the private list.
- Work, read, watch movies, performances. Often the answer to the question is that in life most importantly, find this way. You will feel it by emotional response.
