The envy can be called one of the most unpleasant feelings that can lead not only to personal destruction, but the end of relationships with loved ones and friends. What is it, and is there an opportunity to deal with envy? To understand this, it is necessary to study the reason for the manifestation of this feeling.
What it is?
It should not be noted that this feeling experienced almost every person, because nothing is alien to us. Envy manifests itself in all, regardless of age, social situation, gender and other qualities. But the question is what to do with this feeling is whether it is worth fighting or allowing him to destroy inner peace and peace.
If you describe envy, It is characterized by a feeling of annoyance that someone has something that I do not have . Often it is accompanied by a desire that that person lose opportunities, circumstances or things he received. Women's envy, as well as men's, closely related to the psychology, which is important to understand. It is emerging in childhood, when a friend has a beautiful dress, or the older sister bought an enviable toy. Over time, this negative feeling can manifest themselves towards colleagues that have gained an increase, and even to friends who managed to make a profitable investment or meet their soul mate.
Whatever it was, Envy is able to quickly cry the mind and negatively affect both the behavior and the character of a person in a short time . Most often, a woman is not able to see the path that did an object of her envy to success. Only the vertex of the iceberg is visible - the happiness and joy of man, and they raise irritation, insult, sometimes anger. All thoughts begin to spin only around it.
There are psychological features of manifestations that will help to recognize envy.
Signs
To understand if you have an envy or envy you, you need to know several characteristics of this feeling, which often manifests itself in women in many ways. It is enough to pay attention to the behavior of another person, and to recognize an unfavorable attitude will be very simple.
- External manifestations are that Woman removes and does not show emotions when he hears about the success of a friend or a loved one . If we are talking about good news regarding the increase, increase salary or long-awaited vacation, instead of the manifestation of joy, the person remains indifferent, and the words of congratulations do not bear the appropriate sense.
- If any initiative and undertaking occurs immediate criticism This testifies to envy. The person himself does not want to engage in self-development, but only shows irritation, which is not so easy to hide. It is easy to see in numerous arguments and belief that nothing will turn out that it is not worth it.
- Imitation Also is an indicator of envy. If, after some time, you noticed that your girlfriend bought the same shoes as you, or began to communicate with the guy, which you like, most likely, it is experiencing this negative feeling towards you. Copying often does not mean admiration, but confirms the opposite. Success must be achieved on their own, looking for its own way to goal, but the enviousness do not think about it, as focused on others.
- Increasing interest in the personal life of another person Often talks about what they envy him. This is a kind of "intelligence", thanks to which a woman can look for flaws in the girlfriend's relationship to indicate it on them, or in secretly rejoice in failure. This is often found in people who cannot boast a personal life and begin to gossip others.
- Regular piercing and incorrect statements towards the obvious object are a sign of a negative relationship. Awareness that someone is more successful and happier, leads to the humiliation of a friend in a circle of her friends. The facial expression can say a lot about the attitude towards you. If the girlfriend takes a look or removes, it is worth thinking if your friendship prevented this destructive feeling.
- Slander It is often found among the envious people who want to specify and defame, as well as bring the successes of others. Flying keeps up with envy, so if a person begins to fall asleep false and insincere compliments, it is worth thinking about his attitude towards you.
Causes
Factors, due to which a person can begin to envy, a lot is quite. Often it stretches from early childhood, and then with this feeling much harder to fight.
Parents who constantly compared their child may have unconsciously spawned the feeling of envy . Punishment for any inclusion and non-compliance with the rules did not allow the child to show his own initiative and mistaken how it is characteristic of children. The lack of love gives rise to deep spiritual wounds that may not be delayed over the years and manifest themselves in other character traits, most often negative.
Insecurity and low self-esteem is not always found only in quiet and relaxing people. Often it becomes the cause of envy, as a person sees happiness from others, but for some reason it cannot be achieved, while unable to rejoice behind loved ones.
Problems of parental relationships with children lead to serious psychological violations that affect the behavior and decision making in different circumstances . If the elders did not praise the child, often humiliated and brought into the example of someone else, undoubtedly, it led to a sense of proper inferiority, which is projected by others. Disabled people are difficult to rejoice at those who have achieved success, especially if the reason for the lack of earnings is the usual laziness or unwillingness to do something for moving through the career ladder.
The former wife often envies the new beloved her husband, her beauty, figure, youth and other qualities.
At the same time, trying to quickly look for flaws, gossipped about her with girlfriends and can slander. The appearance of others often can cause negative emotions only because we look not so attractive. Girls with short hair can be envy to the owners of long braids.
Because of the negative feeling, many women begin to think that the thin, rich, young much easier lives, and success himself goes to them, but it is not. Those who work in the team often turn out to be gossip in the whirlpool, discussing everyone around. Financial condition can be called the most common cause, people are jealous of the large apartment in a beautiful area, a successful vacancy, advantageous connections. . All these factors are able to destroy the mental and physical condition of the woman, if not starting to deal with the negative influence of envy, and this is possible.
How to deal with envy?
There are several options, how to fight this condition. First you need to decide whether you have become an object envy or a feeling captured you yourself.In itself
It is very easy to detect envy, it is enough to analyze personal attitude towards friends or just successful women and beautiful girls. If you are sincerely happy for them, and they inspire you, you can not worry, but when there is a commerce and getting upholstered inside, it is necessary to take action.
- It is important to understand that You need to fight this condition at an early stage Since envy can lead to more negative consequences, including revenge, quarrels and deep mental wounds. The first step is to recognize yourself in envy. If you notice that we regularly gossip or began to gloomy in relation to a certain person, it is necessary to stop it.
- Of course, fighting feelings and emotions is not as easy as we would like. But it is impossible to ignore them. You can start with the search for the reasons for which the envy arose . If it stretches from early childhood, it is recommended to talk to your parents about those feelings that you experience. Conversation Currently can alleviate internal contradictions and calm pain.
- Psychological support plays an important role, so you can make an appointment with a specialist which will delete the source of the problem and tell me how to deal with it. Perhaps it is worth talking with those who you envy, and tell about your emotions. If we are talking about a close and native person, you can not doubt that he will be ready to help you.
- The fight against envy will require self-control and regular analysis of the motives of your actions. . It is important to stop concentrated on failures, but to remember that it was already possible to do. You must be as frank as possible with yourself. Try to find positive qualities that have already helped you achieve success in different spheres of life. Concentrate on the good thing you have, and thank the fate for it.
You can do something for self-development to raise the importance in your own eyes, and reach new vertices that will inspire and delight.
When others envy
You can react to envy in different ways, but if you want to change the ratio of the girlfriend to you and stop the flow of negative emotions, you can make a few steps towards meeting and help her cope with it.
- First of all, Began to talk perfume And for this you can arrange gatherings, prepare a delicious dinner and create an atmosphere. It should be noticed openly, but at the same time be restrained not to injure a girlfriend. Explain that the attitude from her side has changed, and it grieves you.
- It is important to show that you appreciate friendship and want everything to work This will emotionally reveal the interlocutor. If we are talking about your successes on a personal front or work, it is important to pick up and comfort a girlfriend, saying that all the best in her life is still ahead. Psychological support plays a big role, it is important to express understanding.
- Do not fit your own achievements so that the girlfriend becomes easier, it will not fix the situation . It is impossible to help, as it can give rise to even more negative feelings and completely spoil the relationship. It is enough to push and inspire a girlfriend so that she could see that she has every chance to achieve success in different areas. Painful topics should not be affected, it may be necessary to assist the psychologist. All these actions can save women's friendship and help cope with the negative.
Our life consists of relationships with different people, and different factors are often influenced. None of us is immune from negative emotions, but you can cope with them, if you know the reason for their occurrence and ways to eliminate.
