It seems that the ideal mental connection should be between mother and daughter. However, it does not always happen. Sometimes between the two most close women arises a huge crack in the relationship. There are always reasons for this. They can be so good that sometimes the situation goes to a dead end. What then to do? Let's try to figure out.
Main reasons
Psychology suggests that the hostility of one person to another arises when hatred appears.
Very bad when the daughter hates mother. In this case, both sides suffer. The daughter cannot feel protected, and the mother is fear for their lonely future.
However, you need to gain courage to look truth. The hatred of an adult daughter arises not just like that. This should be good reasons. Consider them.
- The inattentive attitude of the mother to his child is always fraught with the consequences. Perhaps you at one time did not show interest in the problems of your daughter. And here is the result. She learned to live without your participation, and now takes away to you for indifference.
- Teenage girl is always a storm of emotions. If you always reproached your daughter in anything without much reasons, then such behavior caused irritable state. Because your Chad first came rejection, and later hatred for you.
- You dominated your child. Dictated how to dress him how to do. When the daughter was very small, she listened to you. Later she had his own opinion. However, you for a long time did not give her to live as you want. Subsequently, such behavior caused hostility to you.
- You are all your anger because of the problems (lack of money, unresolved life and the other) dotted on your child. And here is the result. From constant troubles, your child began to perceive you with a negative.
- You all forced your daughter to do hard work at home, and they themselves could afford to have fun and relax with friends. As a result, your daughter has grown closed special and now all his irritation will take place on you.
- Hate could arise due to mutual egoism. The disadvantage of both mother and daughters gradually led to the growing conflict. And where conflicts, there are also universal dislike.
- Because of the treason of mother, the family broke up. And this factor has become an impetus to the emergence of hate to her own mother.
- Excessive parental careek I immediately caused irritation, and then the persistent feeling of hatred.
- Mother is experiencing hidden contempt. She all the time compares his daughter with more successful children and regrets that her child cannot achieve the same success. Therefore, the parents all the time removes anger on his daughter and behaves inadequately.
How to behave?
Some women complain that they cannot establish relationships with their own child. Wherein Need to remember: the relationship between people are a kind of "mirror", reflecting the depth of their behavior.
Therefore, it is not to be surprised that these relationships sometimes deteriorate. So that it did not happen, keep your actions under control. You ask: "And if it is already late to apply in practice the above recommendation?" Then you need to try to correct errors. Consider what you need to do for this.
First of all, realize the fact that you have a problem in relationship with your own daughter. And as long as you close your eyes on her, you will be in a negative situation.
Find a reason that led to such sad consequences. This condition must be performed. Without it, you will not be able to get to the truth. To resolve the problem, you must first eliminate the reason that led to this problem.
When you decide for the reasons that contributed to the deterioration of relationships, do not fuss, but simply decide on the basic actions. They will lead to the correction of the position.
It is necessary to do the following - Invite your daughter for a frank conversation. Listen carefully to your daughter. Try not to interrupt. Let him speak and tell you everything she thinks about you.
In no case do not be offended if your daughter is very frank with you and therefore will tell you a lot of unpleasant things. Remember: this is your child. He lived with you side by side for a very long time. Your child has many complaints about you.
After your daughter is spoken, ask her to listen to your opinion. If you have come to you understand that you are very guilty before my daughter, ask her for forgiveness.
Next, agree with your daughter: let it in the future be always frank with you. No need to hire insults. Resentment must be expressed immediately after their occurrence. Otherwise, annoyance and anger will be picked up in consciousness. This will lead to another burst of hatred.
Tips for psychologist
Hate arises when love ends. That is why it can not be called the opposite of love. The need for mother and child's mutual love is very large. However, sometimes exceptions happen from the rules.
The daughter begins to hate mother, and it affects her further happy life. Mother also has to be disadvantaged. A woman is experiencing, in every way trying to find a way out of the situation. Therefore, consider tips to help both sides to get out of a difficult situation.
It is necessary to consider: hate arises for two reasons. For example, due to the reaction to a sharp conflict or due to incorrect relationships.
If any situation has happened in your life, which led to hatred, then try to make you forgive you. If your relationship with my daughter has developed a negative way for a very long time, then the process of their recovery can delay indefinitely. Therefore, be patient. Fully change your attitude to your child. Do not try to answer hatred and anger aimed at your side, hatred and angrily in the opposite direction. Remember: Destructive feelings are capable of raising quickly in size. And this leads to the exacerbation of the situation.
With any conflict, speak with your tea calmly. Just quietly and calmly inform your point of view.
Do not reproach your daughter for past mistakes. Do not remind her about what was before. Thus, you stop "feeding" her hatred for you. If you give a daughter advice, do not insist on its mandatory implementation. Let the final decision in favor of your advice will remain behind it. So you will be able to protect yourself from the subsequent irritation of the daughter in your direction.
Warn your daughter affairs. If you did not do this before, now start doing it. Express your attitude towards a particular event. Just at the same time, carefully select words to do not be offended at you.
Do not criticize it in vain. Remember that criticism should be constructive. If you specify an error, then definitely give advice how to eliminate it.
Stop talking very loud. Too emotional speech takes out any person. In addition, words spoken with irritation, poorly reach the consciousness.
Two people participate in the conflict. If hatred occurs, in this case both sides are to one degree or another. Therefore, daughters also need to take some actions to establish relationships with the mother.
Daughter hated mother, is considered a deeply unhappy person. It will not be able to build the right relationship with other people until it comes out of such a negative state.
The following tips belong to it.
- Start act so that everything in your life has improved. Remember that your hatred for a native person will first harm you. Of course, a living person is constantly experiencing emotions, including negative. This fact does not in any way make such a person bad.
- Hate is short-term. Especially it happens when it comes to close man. As soon as the relationship come back to normal, hatred passes. This means that you have all the time experiencing mother and love, and tenderness. These feelings are much stronger than anger.
- But you should not suppress negative feelings. If you do this, then they will only grow gradually. As a result, this situation will lead to the growing conflict. Therefore, you need to hint correctly mother that you do not like some details in its actions or words. For example, write the negative moments on the paper sheet that cause you irritation, and let them read their mother. After that it will make conclusions and starts acting correctly.
- Always bring your thoughts correctly. For this you should not shout. The more calmer and quiet will be a person, the easier it will be to convey his thoughts to other people.
